In For a Fin
Five fun things for under $5.00
Hooking you up with what’s odd, hot, and otherwise for limited lettuce
by Susanne Kammlott
1. Grow-A-Date
You can spend nights in dimly lit bars, well dressed, drunk, and desperate. You can dry out highlighters perusing lengthy personal columns. You can even drop your last dime dialing 900 numbers. But really, why bother? Save money, time and tears with Russ Berrie’s heaven sent “Grow-A-Date.” Prettily packaged with a hearts and flowers flourish, each dream date comes encased in a protective bubble pack. Just immerse all 1 inch of him or her in water and wait for romance! The pocket-sized, bikini-clad Venus or muscle beach Adonis can be used over and over, but best yet, they won’t talk back or borrow money. Who says you gotta shop around? Fall in love with Grow-A-Date, made by Russ Berrie and Co., Oakland, NJ and waiting just for you at your local Store 24.
2. KRANK (2) O
Suffering from chronic coffee breath? Stop abusing breath mints because now there’s a better way to beat javatosis. The space-minded folks at Interstellar Beverage have brought the oft-needed kick of caffeine and the cool refreshment of bottled water together. Say adios to signs of caffeine addiction: Sweetener packets that burst incriminating powder in your pockets; creepy wooden stirrers; your favorite crude crusted mug, worthy of Pompeii. Yuck. Boost your bean power and get buzzed with tastefully flavorless caffeine combined with crystal clear water. Or go completely crazy and use it to brew! And when you’re too wired to sleep, visit their web site, www.rocketcola.com. Look for KRANK(2)O, as long as people search for a sane and legal ways to stay awake, at Christie’s for $1.25. Bottled by Interstellar Bev. Co., Springfield, MA
3. Removable Tattoos
You know you want a tattoo. But you also know that, one sober day, you’ll be in a board meeting and roll up your sleeve only to reveal “I’D RATHER BE RAVING.” What were you thinking? That’s why there’s “Original Hollywood Tattoos.” Lots of divine designs, these skin-deepers are executed with good color and decent detailing. Choose from bewitching black roses, Harley-esque skulls, the perennial favorite peace sign, and many more. Hollywood skin appliqués are foolproof for when you’re feeling decorative but can’t shell out for thousands of dollars worth of painful laser surgery later. Avoid epidermal drama. These classic patterns are easy to apply, water-resistant, and extremely inexpensive to remove. Find Original Hollywood Tattoos hanging around at Suggardaddy’s Smoke Shop, 472 Commonwealth Ave., (Above Angora’s Café) Kenmore Square, Boston
4. Assorted bathroom soaps
Not just for the rich or skin fetishist anymore; what your stressful life is missing is nice soap. But if you balk at the sight of dusty rosettes melted together, put that notion down the drain because the Body Shop has just what you need in the form of big, bright bars that will leave you smelling like a delicious fruit salad. Flush those darkened bricks of flaky irritating Ivory, toss out those hideous gritty Lava lumps and choose from a fragrant assortment of glycerin soaps in a delightfully natural scents such as dewberry, mauve colored lilymilk, bursting pink grapefruit, and luscious green apple. Looking to eliminate life’s rough spots? There’s a rich raspberry loofa that hoasts tiny granules right in the bar. Hey, every little bit helps. Lather away angst with Body Shop’s glycerin soap, 1450 Mass. Ave., Harvard Square. Clean up cheap at 3/$5.00.
5. Large party decorations
Where is it written that every day can’t be a party? I can’t find it. Just because you live in the shadowy ass end of a triple decker, or a loft dressed in post war gray, doesn’t mean you can’t brighten up your environs with festive decorations. The Beistle Co. family cordially invite you to turn every night into “Las Vegas Night” by offering a diverse variety of party icons. Whether it’s a pair of great big tumbling dice or an emerald green beatific Buddha, each piece is realized in brilliant stand out style, glossy double-sided, full-color, lightweight cardboard. Pull out the smiling beguiling geisha girls whenever you order in Chinese. Launch a luau in your living room with a couple of kooky hula dancers. Get your holiday shopping done once and for all at Paper & More, 965 Mass. Ave., Arlington, with Shippenburg, PA’s own Beistle Co.’s party cut-outs, 79¢ and up.
Susanne Kammlott is a free-lance writer who is perfectly qualified to ‘write this piece because she is known, by friends and curious onlookers alike, for entering convenience stores with $5.00 and emerging with glow-in-the-dark gumballs, vienna sausages that she wouldn’t eat on a bet, play money, and something extremely pink. She has no plans of stopping. Her life-long dream is to one day be Mrs. Archie McPhee.
