In for a Fin
Five fun things for under five dollars
Hooking you up with what’s hot, odd and otherwise, for limited lettuce
by Susanne Kammlott
1. Vintage cufflinks
Just because the rest of the world is wearing their slacks halfway down their ass and liking it is no reason to think sophistication is history. Or is it? Consider owning a pair of engaging, eye-catching retro cufflinks. Bertha Cool, excellent purveyor of quality experienced clothing and accessories, has a lovely velvet display case full of unusual late ’50s and ’60s overstock links. They have lots or classic, gold-toned masculine motifs for you to choose from: sports, father & son, animals, airplanes, equestrian, plus many come with their original box. You can live off the cuff, but you don’t have to look it. Stay stylin’ for vintage accessories that you’ll find at Bertha Cool, 528 Commonwealth Ave., Boston, MA 02215. Call for store hours (617) 247-4111. $5.00/pair.
2. Art rubber bands
If you’ve been taking rubber bands for granted, stretch your imagination over to Koo de Kir on Charles Street and check out one woman’s snappy vision. New York conceptual artist Sarah Schwartz has recreated ordinary objects, such as rubber bands by encrypting them with various potent and sublime single word messages. Ask yourself, do I want to engage a loop of rubber in existential dialogue. Why not? FEAR, FOLLY, TRUTH, WILD, WISDOM, heavy words for such a small office supply. Wait’ll paper clips start speaking out! Incongruent, slightly screwy, a buck will buy you live bands. Cheap and they make you think, even if you don’t want to. Bending the laws of aesthetic dialogue, art rubber bands are among “objects we live with” at the fabulous-looking Koo de Kir, Charles St., Boston. Call (617) 723-8111.
3. Erotic Erasers
Pencil dick?! Do these words bring back the sting of psychic trauma, locker room style, suffered so long ago? Are you still showering with your underwear on? Liberate yourself and your raging little libido with teeny weenie erasers made to fit comfortably over any pen or pencil. Tell your nervous habits – bite this! They come in different, rather unnatural colors, these one-inchers of realistic-looking rubber wipe away mistakes with just a stroke. Provocative, practical, but better yet, the blue ones glow-in-the dark. They’re irresistibly priced at 50 cents a pecker, you’ll find them at Brookline’s own erotic boutique, Grand Opening, 318 Harvard St., Arcade Building, Coolidge Corner. Call (617) 731-2626 for store hours. And remember, no teeth marks, please.
4. Novelty Soda
Clearly a contender in the in-your-face pop category, Skeleteens Left in the Bottle Brand is something obnoxious where soda is concerned. Wicked manic graphics and flip, obscene drinking, this West Coast-based beverage will bubble on your tongue with varieties like “Rat Bastard” this time put it in your mouth, “Love Potion 69” helps to keep your heart on, and the natural selection “Fukola Cola.” No doubt concocted by mad slackers, this pro-actively aggressive carbonated mix is more than just rude. It also contains many mentally healthful sounding herbal ingredients such as skullcap, ginseng, goldenseal, kola nut, buchu, and so on. Get smart and mean in one swallow, Left in the Bottle for Skeleteens soda is available at select area convenience stores, and spilled by Eat Me Foods; they dare you to write them at P. 0. Box 411238, Los Angeles, CA, 9O041. $1.70.
Even if you’ve just pawned your TV/VCR, the one you charged to a stolen credit card, nothing says a nice day like sushi on Newbury Street. Anyone desperate can effect a healthy diet, elegance, and zen good taste. The secret is fish and rice. Sushi is an artful ancient delicacy and nutritious like a fluffernutter/potato chip sandwich will never be. The honorable establishment of Skino Express will fix you up with a piece of sushi and all the chop sticks, wasabi, pickled ginger, soy sauce, and obligatory sprouts of fake foliage you need. Order all your rice and fish faves, from sea bass to yellowtail, 13 different kinds for only a dollar a pop! Get your head out of the snack aisle, stay out of pawn shops and make your way over to Skino Express, 144 Newbury St., Boston., for some edible and enlightening brain food. Call (617) 262-4530. $1. OO/piece.
Susanne Kammlott is a free-lance writer and perfectly qualified to write this piece because she is known, by friends and curious onlookers alike, for entering convenience stores with $5.00 and emerging with a small container of blue jungle juice, play money, gum in a tube and something with RuPaul on the cover. She has no plans of stopping. Her life-long dream is to one day be Mrs. Archie McPhee.