In for a Fin
Five fun things for under five dollars
Hooking you up with what’s hot, odd and otherwise for limited lettuce
by Suzanne Kamlott
Baby Smudge Bundles
There’s always HOPE and now it’s also a place to buy rehab supplies. The proprietary premise is simple: “The Crow” opens an enchanting, crypt-sized shop teeming with ritual candles in many colors strange and delightful postcards and numerous esoteric baubles. Among the otherworldly treasures are smudge bundles, which promise to alleviate the guilt after a cavalier moment of immorality. You know what we mean. So, if smoke and mirrors brought you to a state of spiritual weakness, figure smoke and magic’ll bring you out of it. Just light the fag of woven fibers on a heat resistant plate and bathe yourself with the cleansing clouds. This supposedly sends out a 911 to benevolent spirits who’ll make it all better again. Until next Saturday night. Where there’s a sweet fragrance wafting down the avenue, there’s always HOPE, 302 Newbury St., Boston, where you’ll find smudge bundles starting at $1.50 and up.
Japanese Novelty Craft Item
How do you bring back the fun of being a kid? With a new thing to do? Not too easy when you’re big, without breaking a few laws. Buck up and try Grimmhobby’s origami-inspired craft kits. Sure, it may not be high speed chases and hookers, but the lovely pen holder, miniature three-drawer chest or candy box you create are every bit as amusing. With the bilingual instructions, you’ll even pick up a little Japanese in the process; terms like assemble, glue, slot A and beautiful, to name a few. The materials are superior in quality and include chiyogami, an intricately detailed gilt-toned paper. These unique kits make a great through-the-mail gift for anyone that hasn’t lost the love for fiddling with bits of cardboard, scissors and paste. Keep idle hands out of trouble at Sasuga Japanese Bookstore and get one of the three nifty different craft items for only $4.50. 7 Upland Road, Cambridge.
Gigantic Jaw Breakers
So BIG they’re scary. If Willy Wonka had a deal going with your dentist, it would be these monstrous, molar removing candies. Never mind human mandibles, you’ll need the jaws of life to dislodge one of these hyper-sized confections from between your teeth. It’s hard to believe that the white sugary spheres that heft like a softball and are spackled with polychromatic speckles ala Jackson Pollack are actually edible. So massive and tasty, you could suck on them until the year 2000 and there probably isn’t anything or anyone you could say that about. Satisfy your sweet tooth and send your dentist’s kid to Harvard via Truffles Fine Confections, where you’ll find giant jaw breakers for $2.50. Prudential Center Shops, 800 Boylston St., Boston.
Movieline Magazine
Wickedly glossy and filled with facts about high-powered stars, Movieline is your ticket to the inner workings of Hollywood. Find out who’s cast for the new production of TheWiz, or who’s designing those hot rhinestone- baby barrettes that are all the rage on Rodeo Drive. With column titles like “Hollywood Ink” and “The Look,” Movieline will fill your every idol-worshipping moment with spicy pics and juicy tidbits. Winona, Tori, Leonardo: They’re all there pressed between the blinding shiny pages. Like a super glazed doughnut, it’s fluff and substance and sweet to absorb when you’re feeling sick of it all and just want to lay in bed sucking off someone else’s dream life. Scoop up Movieline, filled with Timseltown bad boys and girls at better local magazine racks, or for hardcore glamour junkies, hook into a subscription: P0 Box 469004, Escondidio, CA 92046. $2.99.
Gel Snack Candy
Somewhere between a travel-sized enema bag and a bad joke is “SqueeZert: The Squeezable Dessert.” Distributed by Energy Zone, this liquid snack is the most unusual entry to date in the race to supreme grossness in oddly packaged candy containers. Available in an assortment of fruit and pudding flavors including lime green, and cookies ‘n’ cream (!?), the upsettingly squishy pouches look every bit like the above cited medical supply; the thought of consuming the blobbish contents seems completely out of the question. But if you can get past the initial horror of sucking pudding trough Fleet Jr., you’ll find the vitamin C fortified goo pretty sweet and pleasant tasting. Serving suggestions would include a brief stay in the fridge (the candy, not you). You’ll see (and taste) what we mean on the vanilla. Squeezerts are sliding around at area candy counters and tarning kids’ teeth blue and green everywhere. Cheap, sugary and, little do they know, vaguely obscene, 2 for $1.00.
Suzanne Kamlott is a freelance writer who is perfectly qualified to write this piece because she is known, by friends and curious onlookers alike, for entering convenience stores with $5.00 and emerging with five cups of Mario’s blue Italian ice, an unauthorized biography of Kelsey Grammer, play money and the latest Village Voice, because sometimes it’s fun to pretend you have enough real money to live in Manhattan. She has no plans of stopping. Her life-long dream is to one day be Mrs. Archie McPhee.
