Spice World

with Mel B, Emma Bunton, Melanie C
Directed by Bob Spiers
Written by Kim Fuller 
by Rowan-Morrison

The first question on your mind regarding the worth – or more accurately, the worthlessness – of this film, can be answered by stating what you’ve already assumed: They should be paying you to see this film and not the other way around. The bigger question is whether or not it’s unfunny enough to be entertaining? Occasionally, but only in about four instances, and these are only enjoyable if you’re watching it with a friend. After viewing the tragic Vanilla Ice vehicle, Cool As Ice, I remember feeling embarrassed that Michael Gross (Family Ties) had to act with the Iceman. Yet, the same guilt doesn’t surface during the cameo parade in Spiceworld. The difference is that Spiceworld is like one of those epic tongue-in-cheek Michael Jackson videos that nobody judges the cast by, whereas Cool As Ice attempted to weave in some sincere drama. Unlike Cool As Ice, in which all of the humor is derived from Ice’s clownlike clothing and goofy dialogue (“yep, yep”), Spiceworld‘s few chuckle-evoking snippets are delivered by the supporting actors. Stephen Fry, Roger Moore, and Meatloaf drop some decent lines, but to paraphrase Travolta in Pulp Fiction – “this is no five-dollar shake.” The only Spice-related laugh is when a kid with a concussion opens his eyes right after Ginger Spice states the futility of flashing her breasts to a closed-eye patient. Beyond the thin story line regarding the life of touring, Spiceworld is essentially a collection of “live” performance videos. Keep in mind that while there is no reason for anyone reading this publication to see this crock-of-shitumentary, we are NOT the target audience. As testimony, I asked a ten year old girl what she thought of the film, and she said she loved it. The people have spoken.