Danko Jones – Review

Danko Jones

(Sonic Unyon)
by Doug Sery

Mmm, yeah. This is what it’s all about. Rock & roll as the instrument of the devil, driving us mere mortals to unspeakable acts of depravity and lust, allowing the cardinal siren song to sway our better judgment toward a licentious release that leaves us searching for that first sweet cigarette amongst the freshly-stained sheets as the celestial choir blindly sings a welcome to the sun as it seeps through the open window onto you and whoever else may have heeded the pull of Danko Jones‘s call of the wild. This is what drives Jerry Falwell and his ilk to ecstatic leaps of condemnation, then leads them to the sinful, yet oh-so-wonderful acts of sweet sin that prop up the ratings of cheap television tabloids and the moral outrage of America’s breadbasket. This is Canada’s answer to Elvis Presley and, baby, Ed Sullivan wouldn’t have been able to stop the swivel that every song on this five-song CD orchestrates like a well-financed south-of-Hollywood porn flick. This isn’t about classification, it’s about the appropriation of energy – sexual energy. This is punk, this is soul, this is R&B, this is an aphrodisiac – and if you want to wake up with your virginity intact, you’d better avoid any and all contact with Danko Jones. But if you want to live on the wild side, if you want to taste the taste of sweet degeneration on your lips and on your soul, then send your roommates away on a weekend vacation to Six Flags, stock up the bar, and prepare some fresh linen, ’cause Danko Jones makes Viagra look like a healthy dose of laudanum.
(PO 57347 Jackson Station Hamilton, ON Canada L8P-4X2)