Gardy-loo

Perverts on Parade (Off the Record)
by Scott Hefflon

If you didn’t know El Duce usta be in the Mentors, you’ve probably also never heard of a guy named GG Allin, and therefore you either have a lot of catching up to do (hey, I’m feeling generous) or you should go fuck yourself immediately. Both El Duce and GG are dead. So’s Elvis, so let’s not draw any unnecessary conclusions, OK? As the story goes, El Duce stayed in Florida after a Mentors tour ended in the Fall of ’96 (Christ, they lasted that long? I’d make some comment about beating a dead horse, but the Mentors probably not only beat it, they beat off while beating it, onstage, then fucked its corpse. These guys make/made GWAR look like Mötley Crüe.). He had nothing to go back to in California aside from community service and potential hard time so he stayed with Gardy-Loo guitarist Ben Meyer, who usta be in Nasty Savage (signed to Metal Blade for a few albums, don’t feel bad if ya never heard of ’em – most people haven’t, but they were pretty crazy, damn talented, and entertaining as shit). After a while, they recorded these nine songs, giving sole writing credit (after his death) to El Duce and now we can buy them. Should we? Sure, what the fuck? “Classic” songs such as “Squeal Like A Pig,” “Clitoctomy,” “First Shit of the Morning,” and “Buck Naked” combine Slayerized riffs, a few demented scales (not nearly as many as Ben’s done in the past), and such Duce-isms as “Take off yer clothes, you trailer trash, bar-hopping, band groupie slut” and “Listen you red spandex-wearin’, disease-spreadin’, inter-racial sex offender airhead – Get Naked!” El Duce was a pig. One of the sickest, most depraved sons of bitches I or anyone else can think of. He was a fat, foul-mouthed, violent, drunk motherfucker, and god bless him for it.
(1942 NE 147th Terrace Suite A North Miami, FL 33181)