Happy2bHardcore
Chapter Three (Moonshine)
by Fruit Pie (Don’t Bother Me)
Oh yeah! Haven’t heard anything this good since, like, Make ’em Mokum Crazy, back when Roadrunner was taking a stab at hardcore dance music. The great thing about Happy2bHardcore is that, while manic and heart-racing, it’s full-on musical. As in, like, there are pop melodies that could be Top 40 if it wasn’t for the raging beat thumping like a squirrel’s heartbeat. And that’s what it’s all about. Some might think this the logical extension of disco, the carefree soundtrack to daze of decadent sex’n’drugs’n’dancin’-the-night-away, and they just might be right. There certainly is a diva quality about Happy2bHardcore (especially seeing as all but one track here has angelic female vocals), but unlike the trip-hop chill pill, this sucker’s pure adrenaline. Visions of elaborate costumes, flailing arms, flashing lights, belted out vocals, and sweat pouring off bodies dancing closer than parents ever want them to…
The appeal of breakneck (or breakbeat, officially) keyboard-oriented music is nothing new: hell, I always though Bonnie Tyler’s “Holding Out For A Hero” from the scene in Footloose where they’re playing chicken with tractors was what started it all. Ahem, sorry… What about Bronsky Beat’s “Hit That Perfect Beat?” Yeah, we all have our own starting points, but this is my review and I’ll publicly embarrass myself in my own personal way, thank you. Please feel free to chime in “It’s like playing my 45 of When in Rome’s ‘The Promise’ at 78!*” any time and join me in the joyous celebration of dorkdom. Feels great, don’t it?!? That’s what it’s all about. Sure, I’m as white as a baby’s butt (I’m guessing here), but when the bass throbs like a fuck flick in fast-forward, my pasty ass can’t help but wiggle. (*Historical note: We used to call 7″s 45s, kids, and 78 was, like, the speed that people even older than me used to play their records at. Oh yeah, and this is back in the day when vinyl was put on a turntable, not as liquid on a naked body.)
Happy2bHardcore3 is a continuous mix of 15 happy hardcore breakbeat techno anthems (at least that’s what the back of the CD says) mixed by Anabolic Frolic, the guy responsible for bringing this primarily British music form to North America (at least that’s what the bio says). Hardcore originated in Holland, got Happy in Britain, got imported through Canada’s Nokturnal Records in conjunction with Hollywood’s Moonshine Records. Got all that? Yeah, like anyone cares except the dweebs that read the liner notes to Ramones Mania so they could spout history like they were there from the get-go, man! So I guess “continuous mix” is like the modern day equivalent of the Hooked On [pick a genre, any genre] eight-tracks my parents used to subject us kids to on family road trips before the invention of the Walkman (that was pre-Discman, kids. We were just happy to listen to our choice of radio stations – and later tapes! Whoo, whoo! – to block out the constant threats of “Don’t make me pull this car over!”). The Hooked on Whatever idea was that you could string, say, classical masterpieces together with a bad drum machine beat that was worse than those used whenever the Fat Boys redid songs that were just fine to begin with. Then, as one song was about to medley into the next, they’d “break it down” to its most boring beat and melody, introduce hints of the next song’s melody, then slowly the next song would peak through and blossom. Sound familiar, raveheads? Trouble is, that makes the beginning and end of every song, like, suck. But hey, that’s a small price to pay for 70 minutes of non-stop beats, right? Ummm, yeah, whatever.
While listing “band names” on comps like this is usually about as important as rattling off the ingredients in junk food (give it a second, it’ll come to you), here goes: Unique, Bang! x2, Brisk & Trixxy x2, Triple J, Trixxy, Visa, Innovate, Sy & Demo, DJ Slam, Kingsize; Eternity, Sy & Demo, Demo & Ad Man, and Hyperactive. And with song titles like “Don’t Go Away,” “Shooting Star,” “Till We Meet Again,” and “You Belong To Me,” my comment about Top 40 love ballads (please never call that shit “pop” or “dance music” cuz that’s an insult to either, dig?) kinda rings true, huh? So aside from the occasional “hard like a motherfucker” male rappery, it’s all honey-voiced babes. Except “Pleasure and Pain” by Demo & Ad Man whose doubled vocals sound kinda like a cross between ex-Faith No Moron Mike Patton and deceased INXSian Michael Hutchence. So where are all the golden-voiced raverboys? Come on studs, let’s hear you croon’n’belt it out (Boys II Men and Backstreet Boys fans need not apply).
And finally, while ’96’s Make ’em Mokum Crazy centered around Technohead’s “I Happy Be A Hippy,” Happy2bHardcore3 is probably best represented by Hyperactive’s closer, “Let me Play” with its catchy chorus of “I could never face another day (yeah), if there ain’t no raver’s groove to let me play.” Truer words have probably been spoken, but they didn’t have such an infectious beat behind them.
(8525 Santa Monica Blvd West Hollywood, CA 90069)
