I Love Metal

(Triple Crown)
by Scott Hefflon

I Love Metal is kind of a mixed bag. It seems like some of the bands misunderstood the parameters of “metal” and cover the same puffy-haired glam rock songs/bands that’ve been covered by everyone else by now. But there are selections (still not the deepest, darkest of metal secrets, but it’s a start) that shine. Hearing emo, punk, and ska (listed in the bio in that order: Significance?) bands covering the likes of Celtic Frost, Slayer, and Motörhead is, to me, a step in the right direction. While I don’t get the rush of when Hammerfall covered Pretty Maid’s “Back to Back” (or when Witchery called their album Dead, Hot and Ready as a tip of the hat to PM’s Red, Hot and Heavy), most of you probably don’t know what the hell I’m talking about. I’ve yet to hear a cover of an Armored Saint song from March of the Saint, and there’re still plenty of early Exodus, Slayer, Kreator, Celtic Frost, and on and on “classic” metal songs that’ve yet to be covered, so howzabout digging a little deeper, huh?

I Love Metal opens with Reggie & The Full Effect‘s take on Slayer’s “Raining Blood.” It pretty much sets the stage for various “interpretive” covers to come. A cross between Atari Teenage Riot and Duran Duran, this cover is something you really have to hear to, um, get. I think they just got signed to Vagrant, so keep an eye out for a full-length. They may be kinda like Atom and His Package, and the joke may cease to be funny after repeated listens, but for novelty’s sake, this fuckin’ rocks! Avail‘s up next with their take on Motörhead’s “Iron Fist.” There’s really nowhere to take a Motörhead song, you just play it, and that’s what Avail does. Less Than Jake cover Twisted Sister’s “We’re Not Gonna Take It,” and aside from speeding it up a bit, it’s not much different from the original. But it was a rebel anthem of the mid-’80s, and here’s yet another cover of it trying to keep it alive in the late-’90s. Hot Rod Circuit cover AC/DC’s “Sin City” OK, and while I can think of dozens of great AC/DC tunes not yet plundered, at least they didn’t do “Shook Me All Night Long.” Next up is (almost) everyone’s favorite new bunch of emo darlings, The Get Up Kids. They cover Mötley Crüe’s rapidly over-covered “On with the Show,” and while their laid-back (that’s a nice way of saying lazy) approach and some twangy instrument in the background are kinda nice, there’s just no feeling left in a song that’s about something, dammit. But the “alternate melody” on the last “my, my, my”s was an ingenious way to not have to hit the high notes. JeJune‘s adapting the opening riff of the Scorpions’ “No One Like You” is either refreshing or wrong, depending on where your loyalties lie. My simple rule-of-thumb is that if you can’t play or sing a song, you shouldn’t. Pretty simple, eh? Too bad hundreds of bands, like JeJune, falter and fail while trying to pay tribute. Here’s a tip, guys: put the band name in your special thanks and leave the bands’ songs alone – what kind of tribute is it to slaughter your idols’ songs?

One of the more interesting covers is The Killingtons‘ droning (the bio calls it “moody”) cover of W.A.S.P.’s “Animal (Fuck Like A Beast).” While I’ve yet to hear covers of “Wild Child” or “Ballcrusher,” at least they didn’t do “I Wanna Be Somebody.” And the decision to make the lyric “I fuck like a beast” sound like “I’m going to shampoo my hair” is sheer brilliance. I’m still on the fence about Supernova‘s cover of Iron Maiden’s “The Trooper.” There’re some weird, kinda irritating noises that continue on a single pitch throughout the song, but I think I kinda like it. There’s also a bar rock element added to the chorus, and a general apathetic tendency in a song about killing and dying on a battlefield. Mephiskapheles‘ cover of Celtic Frost’s “Necromantical Screams” is beautiful, simply for the fact that it exists. Celtic Frost is one of the only bands that’s spooked me out (and I’m into the darkest of the dark), and I can think of few bands who ought to attempt covering the frightening majesty of the mighty Frost. Mephiskaphales, to be honest, wasn’t on my list, but they make sense: Despite being a ska band (kinda), they’re Satanists of some sort, they’re dark and heavy, and who else could do the eerie horn parts? Immediately dispelling the scary mood is Lounge‘s perky cover of Judas Priest’s “Living After Midnight.” It’s so chipper, it’s hard to imagine it’s based on a metal song… For some reason, it reminds me of the scene in The Doors when Jim Morrison hears a bubbly, family-value-ized “Light My Fire” in a TV commercial. Next up is a very classic rockin’ cover of Girlschool’s “Not for Sale” by Electric Frankenstein. Released in ’80, this is even before my time, kids, so I’m not in any position to compare and contrast, just to be thankful for EF’s history lesson. (What I do know is Girlschool was buds with Motörhead, whose latest release Love for Sale sucks ass.) The last of the listed tracks is Modest Mouse + Califone‘s interpretation of Slayer’s “South of Heaven.” Whacking and banging on an acoustic guitar whilst playing evil Slayer riffs is something I’d never thought of, and speak-singing Tom Araya’s few-note howling verses provides some really eerie effects. I know from experience that there’s really not a lot of melody to the songs – I once thought it’d be fun to make cheesy show tunes out of them; that project died a slow and painful death as I re-structured some of the worst songs the world will never hear. The bonus track is Gardner covering Ozzy Osborne’s “Flying High Again” live almost exactly the way Ozzy did it. Painfully accurate, down to the placement of the cracked notes and overall shitty sound of the recording.
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