Garbage Pail – Pancakes of the World, Unite! – Fiction

Garbage Pail

Pancakes of the World, Unite!

The A-Z of Crepes
by Alex Dunbar
illustration by Ans

I.A.O.P. (International Apartment of Pancakes)
I.B.O.P. (International Box of Pancakes)
I.C.O.P. (International Cave of Pancakes)
I.D.O.P. (International Dungeon of Pancakes)
I.E.O.P. The concept of anything as dumb-sounding as I.E.O.P is destined for failure. No, this is not a question of your virility, dumbass! It doesn’t sound that stupid. Really. (International Ecliptic of Pancakes)
I.F.O.P. (International Field of Pancakes)
I.G.O.P. (International Graveyard of Pancakes)
I.H.O.P. Jesus Christ! I don’t hop! What’s wrong with you? Do you have a bunny fetish or something? Oh, alright… (International House of Pancakes) Duh…
I.I.O.P. (International Igloo of Pancakes)
I.J.O.P. (International Jungle of Pancakes)
I.K.O.P. I choose to ignore this one on the basis of religious differences.
I.L.O.P. (International Lithosphere of Pancakes)
I.M.O.P. Fuck you, I don’t mop! What do you think I am, your house wench? Sorry to disappoint you, asshole! Wait… Oh shit, sorry… (International Moor of Pancakes)
I.N.O.P. (International Neutron of Pancakes)
I.O.O.P. (International Ocean of Pancakes)
I.P.O.P. (International Playground of Pancakes)
I.Q.O.P. I don’t have a dictionary… The only one I can think of involves quail. My brain just made an unpleasant noise and is now trying to escape through my ear canal. Hold on, I really should do something about this…
I.R.O.P. (International Roost of Pancakes)
I.S.O.P. (International Shack of Pancakes)
I.T.O.P. Actually, I could go either way on the submission/domination thing. The only reason I am top right now is because you are utterly incompetent when it comes to dungeon play. Yes. You’re right; the only reason I put that in is to embarrass you. I permit you to go sit in the corner now. (International Tunnel of Pancakes)
I.U.O.P. (International Umbra of Pancakes)
I.V.O.P. (Intergalactic Vortex of Pancakes)
I.W.O.P. (International Wasteland of Pancakes)
I.X.O.P. see I.Q.O.P. and insert Xylophone in the place of quail.
I.Y.O.P. (International Yard of Pancakes)
I.Z.O.P. (International Zoo of Pancakes)