Lollipop Magazine

What Planet are You From? – Review

April 1, 2000

I hate to see a good punchline wasted. In Mike Nichols’ new film, the few good punch lines are shredded by a silly, derivative excuse for a rousing sex comedy.

Sarre-Chasm – The Shape of Punk to Come? – Column

April 1, 2000

Obviously the Refused guy didn’t think his former band was gonna change punk rock, or he wouldn’ta up and done some Scandinavian blue-eyed soul.

The Ninth Gate – Review

April 1, 2000

Johnny Depp is director/co-screenwriter Roman Polanski’s leading man, occupying nearly every scene (if not all of them) in this fable/thriller.

The Beach – Review

April 1, 2000

From the three blokes we’ll always think of as the “Trainspotting trio,” The Beach is about the perfect place that some travelers are always searching for.

Garbage Pail – Pancakes of the World, Unite! – Fiction

April 1, 2000

I.D.O.P. (International Dungeon of Pancakes). I.I.O.P. (International Igloo of Pancakes). I.Z.O.P. (International Zoo of Pancakes),

Scream 3 – Review

April 1, 2000

Scream 3 is much funnier than Scream 2, and probably funnier than the first. Many of the jokes build on jokes from the previous films, especially the first.

Garbage Pail – Fangs Through Tofu – Fiction

April 1, 2000

Vlados, 247, died Tuesday due to complications related to his refusal to drink blood. Perhaps the most shocking convert to veganism ever, Vlados was converted to the cause by a couple of Birkenstock-wearing potential victims who showed him some persuasive pamphlets.

Garbage Pail – Animal Wrongs – Column

April 1, 2000

It was the taboo topic no one in the animal-rights movement dared discuss – too radical even for the radicals. Yet animal-on-animal violence kills more animals than hunting and scientific experimentation combined.

Oscar Race 2000 – Column

April 1, 2000

When summer is over and Hollywood is finished making its money, things in movieland start to get serious. It’s usually around Labor Day that the Oscar race begins, and it doesn’t come to a stop until all the snow has melted.

The Lonelies – Part Five: Sunday – Fiction

April 1, 2000

Holy fucking shit. He was talking about the baby. He was offering to give her a baby. She had no idea what to say, or even think. Will Hastings? Will Hastings would make the perfect donor, and that was exactly what he was offering. Unbelievable. Un-fucking-believable.