Gluecifer

Tender is the Savage (Sub Pop)
by Jon Sarre

Don’tcha know these Norse’ve got all the right stuff to be huge’n’massive favorites in all the right rock’n’roll circles. Except for umlauts, that is. They don’t have umlauts. I’m not sure if written Norwegian uses umlauts. They got “o”‘s with lines thru ’em (“ø”) and “a”‘s with circles over ’em (“å”) – I know about those – but umlauts…? Wouldn’t it be just perfect to spell Gluecifer, “Glücifer”?

I’m not sure why, but umlauts are a definite key to rockin’ the big time, Mötley Crüe, Queensrÿche, Blue Öyster Cult (factoid of note: in the words of legendary rock crit/BÖC lyricist Richard Meltzer, “I’m the dummy, by the way, responsible for the umlaut over the “O”… in other words, in addition to my many National League batting titles, I also [in all likelihood] introduced gratuitous use of the umlaut to U.S. [and possibly even Anglo-U.S.] rock and roll. Love me or leave me!”) and Motörhead (but not Mötorhöme, for obvious reasons) all made use of a Germanic pronunciation aide, the umlaut, to achieve mega-stardom.

Umlaut (which is not spelt “ümlaut,” not in English anyhow) is defined in Webster’s as “the change of a vowel caused by partial assimilation to a succeeding sound; esp. the fronting or raising of a back or low vowel (as a, o, or u) caused by an i or j orig. standing in the following syllable but usu. not lost or altered.” No word on why it rocks so much, but ya can’t argue that it looks much cooler than an unadorned “u” or “o.” The umlaut is rockin’ like the pentagram is rockin’, which is sumptin that shouldn’t be lost on Gluecifer, a band whose name is a play on onea Satan’s many monikers (that and a popular adhesive/aide to intoxication providin’ ya disregard the manufacturer’s instructions and deliberately mis-use it. Don’t try it with Elmer’s tho’, it won’t work). Umlauts or not, this here Gluecifer record, Tender is the Savage, is flat öüt smökin’, it röcks! Pick öne üp för yöürself at yer löcal Töwer or Sam Göödy’s ör öther fine pürveyör of cömpact discs.
(PÖ Böx 20645 Seattle, WA 98102)