Dry Kill Logic
The Darker Side of Nonsense (Roadrunner)
by Scott Hefflon
At one point, Lollipop considered a column called “Bio Hazard” in which writers would quote the absolutely ludicrous claims made in band bios (“imagine the songwriting of The Beatles, the genius of Einstein, and the hooters of Pamela Anderson Lee all rolled into one and what do you have? Aside from a hard-on and an angry God, you have the band I’m writing this stupid thing for”), but then we realized we’d be quoting every bio we get, and it’s bad enough we have to read them, why retype them and foist them on others?
So Dry Kill Logic – formerly Hinge, supposedly named after Winston Churchill’s book, The Hinges of Fate, but perhaps named after the thingy on the back of the toilet seat that us guys just can’t seem to use to others’ satisfaction – is a decent angry band who sound like a suburban mix of Sepultura and Fear Factory. Yet the bio has the audacity to open with “It isn’t often that a band like Hinge comes along.” Um, hello? Yes, it is. I have a stack of the dozen best “nü metal” releases this quarter, and that’s only cuz there are so fuckin’ many, I can’t sell them all cuz the market is saturated and dripping identically stinky rage sweat. Not since the heyday of glam have there been so many pretty decent, mostly interchangeable posterboys posing for photos and doing interviews showing how illiterate they are and, oh yeah, occasionally writing tunes that’ll never be remembered when all the fuss and fidgeting is over.
Another interesting bit of the bio rich in irony is the note that their first EP came out on their own label, Psychodrama. And then a brilliant explanation as to, ya know, like, why the, um, label was, uh, called that. Duh. The world is full of psychodrama and morons blow things out of proportion cuz their lives are tiresome and dull? Well, yeah… And what was the first line in your bio again? Shit, some smart poet fucker back in the old days stated that most men lead lives of quiet desperation. We wish! Most people these days lead lives of loud, bitchy pretty universally tiresome situations, and we’ve invented numerous ways to instantly communicate our feelings and opinions on everything that catches our short attention spans to anyone catching their breath from their own not-especially sordid soliloquy.
Dry Kill Logic? Sure, decent band. Been done before, but so has procreation and all the wrong people are still banging away and making more of themselves, so why stop now?
(902 Broadway New York, NY 10010)