Nocturne – Welcome to Paradise – Review

Nocturne

Welcome to Paradise (Triple X)
by Scott Hefflon

I passed on Nocturne‘s last record, made fun of their photo in 9mm Photoshoot (the photo’n’caption slamfest in the front of the mag), and I’ll continue to rag on them and whoever writes the bios over at Triple X until things change. I mean, kinda sexy-sounding female writhing to amateur industrial sounds and boring beats with plodding, been-done-to-death guitar chugs is not so bad, seeing as there’s plenty of it about and all these bands are welcome to clamor for opening spots for the few good bands of that ilk, but when a bio calls this “Dark, Nu-metal in the vein of Static X, Manson, Zombie, Powerman,” shit, you have to wonder who let the writer get away with that without being told to, ya know, maybe listen to music every so often and not just circle words in other band’s reviews that sound cool.

The band’s from Texas, for fuck’s sake. Skrew was from there, and Ministry went there to nod out and never actually make that lousy Filth Pig record, the Cowboys from Hell, Pantera, were from there: It can be done. In this case, it sure wasn’t. I dunno, third time’s a charm? Good luck cuz ya got two strikes already, ya hacks.
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