The Ritchie Whites – Snitches Get Stitches – Review

The Ritchie Whites

Snitches Get Stitches (TKO)
by Ewan Wadharmi

Pretty much every well-crafted punk slab is tempered by one mid-tempo tune lifted from a ’50s prom song. With Snitches Get Stitches, The Ritchie Whites get stuck in second gear and completely neglect to rock. Vocalist “Chris” has a tendency to diphthong his syllables and generally takes the most obvious route. Principally due to the uninspired and often off-key vocals, the band comes across as green. It turns out they’re deceptively experienced. It’s not that the Whites are awful, just wholly unremarkable. They’re not poppy enough to get upset about, but also not edgy enough to excite.

“Honky Tonk Satisfaction” is insultingly determined that you catch the Rolling Stones reference touting, “She blows my nose and then she blows my mind.” But oddly, the song about a “Brown Betty” makes no mention of Leadbelly. Any ironies are lost when clichés within clichés create a double negative. Until the trashy “Fever,” the songs are interchangeable, taking precisely the same color, if not form. “Fever” offers diversity in every area previously lacking. A dirty garage guitar line forces the severe background chanting. And the bullhorn on the offset lead provides desperately-needed ear candy. The other song of note is the psychobilly “Shock Theatre.” In addition to great Commander Cody reverb and tripped-out organ, the pace finally picks up just in time to close up shop.
(3126 W. Cary St. #303 Richmond, VA 23221)