Cooking With Pornstars – Review

Cooking With Pornstars

with Chandler, Houston, Eric Linenberg
Directed by Colin Malone, Fred Sherman
(MVD)
by Brian Varney

Though it isn’t the sort of movie you go into expecting to have universal truths revealed to you, there is one scene in American Pie that does just that. Near the beginning of the movie, Jim is watching scrambled porn, and, uh, pleasuring himself with a tube sock. Though unable to see anything, he’s listening to the lady’s moaning and groaning, trying desperately to get off when in comes the guy, moaning and saying stupid stuff as actors are apt to do. Drawn back from his reverie, Jim looks disgustedly at the TV and says, “Dude, will you shut up?” Universal truth: Men in porn are portrayed as stupid, frequently annoying and even more frequently ruin any sort of enjoyment there is to be had.

This scene is what immediately came to mind when I popped in Cooking With Pornstars. It’s not really porn, but you get plenty of nudity and the male/female relationships are roughly the same as in real porn movies, i.e. the women are portrayed as hot and the guy is portrayed as annoying. The first time you see host Colin Malone, he’s wearing a Monster Magnet t-shirt, so I figure the guy’s probably OK. The first segment is with Houston, who’s famous for rolling the dice with death and VD alike by sharing the love with 500 guys at the same time. The blonde blow-up/Barbie doll look with flotation device-type breasts isn’t really my thing, but I figure this could be amusing anyway. However, in no time, I’m leaning forward on the couch, my mind flashing back to American Pie, and had me reaching for the other DVD. Regardless, you can find out more about this show here…
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