A Tribute to The Four Horsemen

(Nuclear Blast)
by Tim Den

I never knew The Four Horsemen were that influential… oh wait, this is a tribute to Metallica? Ooooooh boy, let the slaughter begin…

If Primal Fear‘s band photo doesn’t crack you up, their uber-serious cover of “Seek & Destroy” (unnecessary drum fills during the pre-chorus and all) will. Sonata Arctica‘s guitarists should be shot for taking too many liberties with “Fade to Black” (though the vocals soar), Burden of Grief‘s frontman all but craps on top of “Master of Puppets,” and Crematory turn “One” into a cookie monster singalong. Christ on a stick… And how desperate do you have to be to tout “exclusive tracks from Thunderstone and Tankard!” as a selling point and to fill the liner notes with “enjoy the magic!,” “magnificent!,” “well done,” and “crank it up!”? How many scraps are you willing to take before resorting to ’94 Dark Tranquillity and In Flames (who didn’t even have a permanent vocalist yet) covers? Oh wait…

And then Anthrax pipes up with their version of “Phantom Lord,” recorded during the dreadful Volume 8: The Threat is Real period. Thank god for We’ve Come For You All, cuz they sound about as menacing as an elderly street gang here. Hey Scott and Charlie: The distortion turns on during a metal song! Hey John, good thing you didn’t join Metallica when they asked ya, huh? Who knows how many other songs you would’ve ruined with that monotonous bellow of yours! Is the irony lost only on me? Anthrax, one of the Big Four, covering contemporaries Metallica. You figure out the equation of shame here. Other unnecessary (but better than the ones listed) contributions: Therion, Destruction, The Kovenant (who at least dared to tackle newbie “The Memories Remain” via techno metal), and Sinner.
(2323 W. El Segundo Blvd. Hawthorne, CA 90250)