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Columns/Fiction

Coroner’s Corner – Column

February 22, 2002

What film is Oscar-worthy for “best use of a decapitated melon in a sexual situation”? Why, it’s the 1985 gem Re-Animator, of course, and Elite Entertainment is re-releasing this zombie epic on a loaded DVD.

Coroner’s Corner – Column

June 1, 2001

Lucio says “To hell with that. We’re going to show the babysitter’s jugular slashed three times in up-close detail and then we’ll bounce her head down the stairs to the feet of a mortified eight-year-old.”

What We Wipe With – Fiction

June 1, 2001

We’ve all run out of toilet paper. It’s a product we’re embarrassed to buy in a busy grocery store despite the fact that everyone has to at some point. But this time we’re the spectacle lugging the 144-roll pack to the checkout because it saves 3 cents a roll.

What I hate so much about hardcore, rap, and nü metal – Rant

June 1, 2001

Such lowered expectations have made ALL OF US applaud the fledgling efforts of anyone who looks like they might have a clue. But most flatline once the fawning starts, cuz honestly, why keep trying to outdo yourself when people already think you rule?

Import Zone – Column

June 1, 2001

I caught the first two nights of Vanessa Paradis’ six sold out March performances à L’Olympia à Paris, and they were well worth all the rain I endured.

Jean-Paul Bavard’s Tête a Radio-tête – Fiction

June 1, 2001

The tape, oddly labeled “New Unrel. Demos,” begins with approximately 30 seconds of intensely beautiful instrumental guitar-based rock music, followed by a loud clicking noise, and then the voice of Radiohead’s Thom Yorke, beginning in mid-sentence.

Underground Station – Column

April 1, 2001

160 pages of some of the best of the original underground artists like Bode, Crumb, and Shelton mixed with newcomers like Kiernan Sawyer and Randy Vogel. It’s good for the occasional fan that prefers a compilation to a half dozen obscure comix.

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