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Columns/Fiction

Dogshit Park – Part Two – Fiction

June 1, 2000

“She slit her wrists over the kitchen sink,” I said. I was shaking uncontrollably; it always happened when I talked about Marcus, which I hadn’t, to anyone, in a very long time. They found her the next morning. She’d deadbolted the door.

Import Zone – The J-Spot – Column

April 1, 2000

Speed is said to be more popular, but the J-Pop group I recommend first is Max. Like Speed, they’re a group of cute young teens with irresistible, upbeat songs. I’m hopelessly addicted to their Maximum Groove disc.

Garbage Pail – Fangs Through Tofu – Fiction

April 1, 2000

Vlados, 247, died Tuesday due to complications related to his refusal to drink blood. Perhaps the most shocking convert to veganism ever, Vlados was converted to the cause by a couple of Birkenstock-wearing potential victims who showed him some persuasive pamphlets.

Garbage Pail – Animal Wrongs – Column

April 1, 2000

It was the taboo topic no one in the animal-rights movement dared discuss – too radical even for the radicals. Yet animal-on-animal violence kills more animals than hunting and scientific experimentation combined.

Oscar Race 2000 – Column

April 1, 2000

When summer is over and Hollywood is finished making its money, things in movieland start to get serious. It’s usually around Labor Day that the Oscar race begins, and it doesn’t come to a stop until all the snow has melted.

The Lonelies – Part Five: Sunday – Fiction

April 1, 2000

Holy fucking shit. He was talking about the baby. He was offering to give her a baby. She had no idea what to say, or even think. Will Hastings? Will Hastings would make the perfect donor, and that was exactly what he was offering. Unbelievable. Un-fucking-believable.

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