column

Garbage Pail – Eerie similarities between George Bush and George Bush – Column

June 1, 2000

George Bush was shot down and missing in action for a short time. — While not shot down, George Bush was missing from the National Guard for a whole year.

Prelude to a Lick – The Editor’s Rant – Column

June 1, 2000

When your weekend getaway becomes a community, a village, a string of housing developments with sushi bars, over-priced coffee shops, and laws that prohibit smoking on the sidewalk, much less in the gift shops, you know it’s time to pack the family wagon and move on.

Garbage Pail – Coming Distractions – Column

June 1, 2000

Hollywood’s self-referential, postmodern meta-madness hits its logical nadir in this parody of the Naked Gun movies. Leslie Nielsen plays Leslie Nielsen playing Frank Drebin, and, upon seeing a stuffed beaver, quips “oh, so this is supposed to be the part where I make some sort of sexual innuendo.”

Import Zone – The J-Spot – Column

April 1, 2000

Speed is said to be more popular, but the J-Pop group I recommend first is Max. Like Speed, they’re a group of cute young teens with irresistible, upbeat songs. I’m hopelessly addicted to their Maximum Groove disc.

Sarre-Chasm – The Shape of Punk to Come? – Column

April 1, 2000

Obviously the Refused guy didn’t think his former band was gonna change punk rock, or he wouldn’ta up and done some Scandinavian blue-eyed soul.

Garbage Pail – Pancakes of the World, Unite! – Fiction

April 1, 2000

I.D.O.P. (International Dungeon of Pancakes). I.I.O.P. (International Igloo of Pancakes). I.Z.O.P. (International Zoo of Pancakes),

Garbage Pail – Fangs Through Tofu – Fiction

April 1, 2000

Vlados, 247, died Tuesday due to complications related to his refusal to drink blood. Perhaps the most shocking convert to veganism ever, Vlados was converted to the cause by a couple of Birkenstock-wearing potential victims who showed him some persuasive pamphlets.

Garbage Pail – Eerie similarities between George Bush and George Bush – Column

Prelude to a Lick – The Editor’s Rant – Column

Garbage Pail – Coming Distractions – Column

Import Zone – The J-Spot – Column

Sarre-Chasm – The Shape of Punk to Come? – Column

Garbage Pail – Pancakes of the World, Unite! – Fiction

Garbage Pail – Fangs Through Tofu – Fiction

Garbage Pail – Animal Wrongs – Column

Coroner’s Corner – The Linda Blair Bitch Project – Column

Coroner’s Corner – I Found My Thrill on Haunted Hill – Column