Garbage Pail

Eerie similarities between George Bush and George Bush

by Mitchell Greentower
illustration by Dave Dawson

George Bush’s parents named him George.
George Bush’s parents did the same thing.

George Bush is the son of a prominent politician.
So is George Bush.

George Bush went to Andover Academy.
So did George Bush.

George Bush went to Yale.
So did George Bush.

George Bush played varsity baseball at Yale.
George Bush owned the Texas Rangers.

As a fighter pilot in the Navy, George Bush defended our country in the Asian Pacific during World War II.
As a fighter pilot in the Air National Guard, George Bush defended the Asian Pacific in our country during the Viet Nam Conflict.

George Bush was shot down and missing in action for a short time.
While not shot down, George Bush was missing from the National Guard for a whole year.

George Bush made a fortune in the oil business in Texas.
So did George Bush.

George Bush believes that, with a little luck, a lot of pluck, and a Rolodex, an African-American or Mexican-American could move to Texas and make a fortune in the oil business, too.
So does George Bush.

George Bush was the United States’ first Ambassador to Communist China.
When asked last year, George Bush guessed correctly that the President of Taiwan was: “Lee, I think?”

George Bush promised not to raise taxes.
George Bush promises not to raise taxes.

George Bush calls Barbara Bush “Mommy.”
George Bush used to do the same thing.

George Bush is “a lot smarter than people gave him credit for.”
Likewise, George Bush is “a lot smarter than people give him credit for.”

George Bush selected as his running mate a rich, Mid-Western Protestant white guy named Senator J. Danforth Quayle.
George Bush is leaning toward a rich, white Mid-Western Protestant white guy named Senator J. Danforth as his running mate.

George Bush was Ronald Reagan’s rival in 1980.
George Bush is Ronald Reagan’s heir in 2000.

It’s uncanny.