Prelude to a Lick
by Scott Hefflon
illustration by Opie
“What’s your definition of freedom?” A quote from neo-punk rockers NOFX is as good a way to start this rant as any. Thank God for the reinvention of punk rock. Now we can sneer in style and fake lower-middle class English accents and put spikes back into our jackets again. The reinvention of hardcore was fun while it lasted, but it got really tiring. Even Trent Reznor must get sick of being pissed off all the time. Maybe he’s a closet quiche-eater and we just haven’t caught on to that facet of him yet. He is mighty complex, after all. Just ask him, he’ll ignore you out of artistic freedom. Thank God for punk justifying our pissings. Anyway…
In the continuing saga of life in the music/publishing industry, I recently heard I took part in the following conversation:
“Scott, did you hear about Jeffrey Dahmer?”
“No, what happened?”
“He was murdered in prison about a week ago.”
“The name sounds familiar. Who is he?”
“He’s the serial killer from Milwaukee who ate some of his victims.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard of him. Slayer did a song about him, I think.”
It’s a good thing some of the lyricists are paying attention to the news (or at least Letterman) or I’d never know what the hell is going on. I’m about six months behind on the news (how long does it take to write a song anyway?). I’m only about a month behind on my emotional state (he said proudly). Whenever an issue is finished, I get an idea of how I’ve felt in the last month. This issue: Heavy. Surprise, surprise, huh? Take a look at the table of contents. No pop. All rage-filled whatever. It’s about time to listen to a little ska or something. I’m kidding.
We’re takin’ the next month off, so don’t expect to see us out there in January. You’ll have to get through the dreaded post-Christmas lull without us. No worries; we’ll be back in February with our Love Issue. That ought to be interesting.
So, until then, do the Christmas thing and enjoy making New Year’s resolutions you have absolutely no intention of keeping as soon as you sober up.
Lick me.
