Coroner’s Corner

by John Bikowski

Asian Demonic Sex Fetish

If you think Americans are sick bastards, you should see the adult entertainment put out by our brethren in the Far East. The Killer, directed by the astounding John Woo, is about a super-assassin involved in a love triangle with a beautiful singer and a super-cop. The girl is accidentally blinded by the assassin when he blows a round off in front of her face. The tension builds as the cop closes in on the assassin amidst the background of mega-violence, ensuing in a gang war. Frequently funny and full of unbelievable gunplay, The Killer blows away the Terminator and Lethal Weapon series. If this type of film interests you then also check out Hard-Boiled and the A Better Tomorrow series.

Even more jaw-dropping is the adult animation available. Wicked City is about two parallel universes: ours and one populated by shape shifting demons. A “Black Guard” is someone assigned to watch over the continuum to make sure that the ass-kickin’ monsters don’t overrun our world. Taki, a Black Guard from our world, and a powerful woman from their world are assigned to guard Guiseppi Myart who will participate in peace talks for the two races. Of course, radicals from the demon world want to kick the shit out of Myart before the talks happen. Even if you don’t enjoy sex and violence you can marvel at the choice animation. If you enjoy Wicked City check out Crying Freeman, Urotsukidoji, and (a personal favorite) Fist of the North Star.

Becoming popular fast are live-action films based on animation films like those just mentioned. The filming for Crying Freeman and Fist of the North Star has been done for a while now, and they include some martial artists that could put a hurtin’ on the likes of Jean-Claude Van Damme(it). Another live movie based on a cartoon that will gut-kick you is The Story of Rikki-Oh. This may well be the goriest non-zombie movie ever made. Gaping holes punched through people, decapitations, and disembowelments… oh my!

I hope everyone saw Raging Rudolph, aired on Mad TV. They did a great ’90s-Scorsese remake of the classic reindeer fable, complete with very similar voices and identical puppets. However, this time out Rudolph gets his ass kicked, sending red blood spraying onto the white snow. He vows revenge on Santa and sends Yukon Corleone to gun down Santa and his elves in a gory climax that steals the head-in-a-vice-eye-burster from Casino. Complete with the theme song, “Have a Merry Freakin’ Christmas…”