Rip the Net
by John Shaw
Illustration by Jef Taylor
The Internet, for those of you unfamiliar with this wonder of modern technology, is very slow TV. For those that do know, I’ll say this – it’s the greatest single research library there is. If you’ve got an interest, it’s out there; sports, medicine, music, art, computers, food, whatever you’re after, is literally just a “click” away. However, like most users out there, I have no use for it whatsoever, other then looking at the dirty pictures. What do I care? I have no shame. I’ll openly admit that the primary function of my account is for “entertainment” purposes.
To say it’s vastly overrated is an understatement. The thing is, it does have its good points – the big one is freedom (with the exception of monthly charges of course). I mean, where else in the world can you find information on subjects such as “volatile scientific experiments involving Twinkies,” “Nazis in your neighborhood,” “Fun with fertilizer,” (which I found while looking for the Unabomber’s manifesto) and all kinds of other useless crap that today’s college students apparently have scads of time to put together. The Internet can, and most likely will, put an end to libraries as we know them. I’m not saying that Moms and Dads across this land won’t be able to get in their weekly Nooner while Junior is enjoying story time with some quiet squirrelly lady wearing horn-rimmed glasses. No, on the contrary, Junior won’t have to leave home at all to hear his stories. All he’ll need is his electronic babysitter! However, Moms and Dads will have to be in separate time zones to truly enjoy all the benefits of cyber sex.
Now the big debate over this entity is censorship and control. As far as censorship goes, my account already has a Big Brother looking over its shoulder: me. I only go where I want to go, I trust my judgment, know what is and isn’t good for me to see, and I’m usually happy with my results. The server I use (local, cheaper, and easier to deal with when problems arise) does block certain sites, which I’m not too thrilled about. Whether I’d go to them or not is not the issue, having the option to go to them is. I personally don’t have any kids to monitor, but if I did, there are plenty of programs available that block out sights and force these kids to learn about sex in the time tested and proven method of experimentation. Control, however, is what big business and the government want, not censorship; it’s a common misconception. Do you know how much profit potential lies in this Information Superhighway? Me neither, but I bet it’s a lot, and so do they. They don’t really care about you, me, or the eventual fate of Junior. All they want is safe, dormant, non-threatening lumps of goo-paying taxes and consuming. There’s too much anarchy in cyberspace right now. Anarchy leads to free thinking, and free thinking leads to people actually getting up and doing stuff. Virtual reality is fine and dandy, but whatever happened to actual reality? If you agree or disagree with me, fine. E-mail your input to me: banchee@map.com (I’ll send you some of the filthier Url addresses I’ve seen).
