Hogscraper

(Shake It)
by Lex Marburger

All right boys, here ya go, don’t fight now. Yup, Hillbilly Satanic Death music. Whassamatter boy, didn’t ya hear me right? I said, it’s Hogscraper. Yup. Banjo, washtub bass, drums, and the Dark Lord hisself. Don’cha look at me like that, boy. Listen to this. “My heart is blackened/I lost my soul/Went down the left hand path/Old Man Scratch!” But that ain’t all. These boys have got themselves tunes about Manson, incest, and sumptin’ they call… lessee here… “necrobestiality.” Roadkill love, huh? I figger all them hours on the road does things to a feller. They even gots a song about Dixie, Devil bless ’em. A real footstomper, too. Gimme that jug. Ahh, that’s it. Them boys do get kinda weird, though. Theys got a thing called “Planet Drive Thru” about them cattle mutilations that happened a coupla years back. Ya think they know sumptin’ we don’t? I dunno. They is, they say, the “White Devil,” but I don’t go fer all of that. All that’s just Injun talk, ain’t it? Some of this here See Dee (it’s called Hogscraper, just like the band, see?) has got some pretty loud stuff onnit. Them boys’ve been in the city too long, ‘s what I say. Come back here boy, or I’ll blast yer soul! C’mere! Dang yer hide.