Sluts For Hire

The Happiest Band on Earth (Flipside)
by Cunt Rock Girl

Do you like rollicking, superfast songs that give you the fuzzies? No? Then FUCK YOU! Lemme give you eight reasons why Sluts For Hire kicks your pathetic ass:
1) S.F.H.’s names are Miss Koko Puff, Ringo Moon, Bitzy Bop, and Awful K’nawful.
2) “U Bring Me Down” sounds like a spy movie theme on a sugar buzz.
3) Koko Puff’s hair has the most amazing shades of purple and blue I’ve ever seen.
4) S.F.H. means the word slut in a non-gender specific way, being that the band is half male/half female.
5) In the song “Bitch,” Koko sings, “I’m not a bitch,” and Ringo and Awful scream back “Yes, you are!”
6) S.F.H. all wear glitzy, Vegas-y clothes.
7) S.F.H. like the word “slut.” A lot.
8) S.F.H. are happy and they’re not afraid to say it!
Why are you still reading this article? Go out and buy it, you depraved hooker!