Foreskin 500

Starbent But Superfreaked (Basura/Priority)
by Chaz Thorndike

If you’ve been sitting around thinking White Zombie is totally now because their remixes on Supersexy Swingin’ Sounds are the total end baby, then you’ve just got to drop by the Foreskin 500 pad for a bit of pyro-freaky disco noise fever. 1994’s Manpussy moistened my whistle just enough to hum a few bars along with the beatbox, which really bunched up the briefs of the uncool cats in my alley, but didn’t really rev my souped-up Big Daddymobile. The straightaway “Dig A Hole” just droned on, “Highway 69” teased with “I’m burning for your love/I’ll poke you with my pitchfork” but failed to race the pulse, bulge the veins, and blow its top. The soothing sounds of “Baby Crush” reverberated hauntingly – trapped underwater with a skipping music box. But it took two years of self-inflicted medication to finally unwind the coils caused by the psycho-dragster distorto mayhem of “Ticket to Hell.” Imagine Rob Zombie singing for Judas Priest, Turbo time, with Clutch’s hard jammin’ guitar sound, all jacked up on so much ephedrine it’d breathe eye-p poppin’ life into a song with such a tired title.

And now, just as my health insurance is running out, Starbent But Superfreaked is released. “Deliver Me” does freaky-styley butt wigglin’, with Diggie Diamond doin’ dat dere Zombie growl, complimented by the soulful sound of the Mobile Manor Choir, all over a clap track and stacks of racket percussion and a subtle guitar riff similar to “Godzilla.” The song, I mean. Following hot on its heels, like a bunny-train of wild-eyed Thriller castaways, are the unrelenting sounds of Moog synthesis, Casio cheese wizardry, and a skip to the left and a skip to the right of Hippity Hop Rock. If you ever wondered what Al Jourgensen would sound like crooning Bowie-style through a phaser over an early Beastie Boys beat and a Purple Rain synth sound with an ebony-skinned Aphrodite with PMS belting out back-up vox, well, keep wondering.