Lick Us Back!
Readers’ Response
Dear Lollipop,
I think your zine is a waste of paper! I recently bought one through the mail and when I got it and read it I discovered that I wasted $2! I thought it would be a good zine to read cause I love music so I thought it would have popular artists in it but they’re all groups nobody ever heard of. For all I know you could of made the interviews and articles up. I’m guessing no one is subscribing to it cause it’s so dumb. Your ads are even fake. For things that you can buy in them you probably send in the money and they’ll never send back what you bought but just take the money! If you want a fan back start making a lot better zine and then send one to me for free and maybe I’ll change my mind and subscribe. Please write back and tell me what you think of my letter.
Rebecca N. Gumm
as60he9@juno.com
You caught us. The whole punk-alternative thing’s a big scam we perpetrated just to sucker you into spending two bucks. We must admit, we’re surprised it’s gone as far as it has. Actually, we’re relieved that we can drop the whole charade at last. Those flannel shirts were starting to itch.
Dear Lollipop,
Regarding William Ham’s juvenile review of David Lynch’s Lost Highway, I say puh-leez. Highway picks up where Trainspotting leaves off. That is, not as any work of cinematic significance, but as the latest exploitation of the urban hipster-slacker demographic. Gimme a break, the film is a caricature of Lynch’s supposed “weirdness,” its characters cheap re-hashes. Face it, Robert Blake’s oh-so-creepy “white-faced manikin” is the poor man’s Ben (Dean Stockwell) from Blue Velvet, Lynch’s last good movie, and probably his best overall. And hey, what a surprise… a soundtrack featuring your typical roll-call of 1990s MTV – a new low for Lynch, who even parades out a cameo by none other than our favorite angry young hack Henry “Six Pack” Garfield (a.k.a. Rollins). (Does anyone remember Jello Biafra in 1988’s silly Tapeheads?) Even Highway‘s own ads have no shame in using the quote “coolly hypnotic.” Cool it certainly wants to be, and tries way too hard at it – full of camp, pulp, and pretentious mystery, but empty of dignity.
Thanks…and please print this,
Forrest Wynn,
Cambridge
William Ham replies:
I appreciate your point of view, but I stand by my review. The territory mined in Lost Highway, like all of Lynch’s other films, is his subconscious, just like Scorsese uses New York and Fellini used Rome. It may be a closed system, but it’s the one he knows, and it’s unfair to ask him to leave it or, indeed, to opine that he stays there just to ensnare the “hipster-slacker demographic” in his web. Honestly, I believe he doesn’t give a fuck whether they, or anyone else, goes to see his movies at all (his interviews seem to make this point clear). As for the “typical roll-call of 1990’s MTV” on the soundtrack, I count exactly three (maybe four, if David Bowie qualifies – Lou Reed certainly doesn’t) artists that fit that description – a pretty paltry roll call, or did MTV put Barry Adamson and Rammstein videos in heavy rotation when I wasn’t looking? Anyway, thanks for taking the time to write. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m about to have a temper tantrum because I misplaced the green crayon with which I write all my juvenile reviews. Did you take it? Ooh, I’m gonna tell.
Dear Lollipop,
You guys really suck. I mean, you have your reporter talking about how they took time out from prep school to listen to the Misfits. (see Lollipop #24) Man, you guys are so punk rock. Did you guys start moshing when you found out that you can’t wear Mohawks with your little jackets and ties? Stick it to the man. Then, when you’ve grown out of your rebellious phase, you can go back to selling stocks and bonds.
God bless America!!!
Flojo
via e-mail
Damn, when you’re right you’re right. Let’s keep this punk thing on the streets where it belongs, and not in the hands of over-privileged oppressors, like, say, those who can afford Internet access and e-mail accounts. Your John Sinclair merit badge is in the mail (C.O.D., of course).
Send all your wondrously witty, inciteful insights to Lollipop at
feedback@lollipop.com or PO Box 441493 Boston, MA 02144.
(No, really, we’re laughing with you.)
