Garbage Pail – Column

Garbage Pail

by Scott Hefflon, William Ham, and Lex Marburger


Finally! A web site that goes soggy in milk! Links to the Vitamin B homepage! Helps you download more smoothly! And goes great with java!

Various crap overheard in Lollipop‘s Offices (as far as you know):

  • I could read her mind, and it was full of typos. At least it wasn’t in Braille.
  • Oedipus was a motherfucker, and Faust sold out while Jesus got nailed. Hamlet was a great Dane, and Polyphemus had an eye out for nobody in particular.

Helpful Hints For Lollipop Writers

Number 236 – Words and/or Phrases to Avoid Due to Overuse:

  • “Insipid”
  • “Cathartic”
  • “Quirky”
  • “Ethereal”
  • “_____ as fuck”
  • “I hear they rock live”
  • Hyphenated words more than 75 characters (ex. “Post-Hip-Hop-Techno-Acid-Emo-Lounge-Punk-Skronk-Noise-Metal-Klezmer-Core-As-Fuck”)
  • “Like _____ on Acid”
  • “Marilyn Manson”
  • “Perry Como”
  • “Semprini”