Marianne Faithfull

20th Century Blues (RCA)
by Skippy Rainey

I never thought I’d have my own column in a respected national music magazine, much less Lollipop, but my older brother told me the response from my first review (the same one that got me my first C+ in Creative Writing) was galvanized or something. I looked up the word in the dictionary and it said “to cover with zinc to protect from moisture.” I don’t know why they’d do that, but I’m happy to see it’s not getting wet. Anyway, my brother came into my room a couple weeks ago, dropped a stack of CDs on my bed, and said “Here. This should keep you busy. Stop calling my house.” I must say, I’m surprised at how easy this rock critic thing is – except for the fact that I had to pay attention to the CDs so I could review them, it’s been simple as pie. I’m not sure what kind of pie. Not pecan, that’s for sure. They hurt my teeth.

This woman looks familiar to me. Is she Courtney Love’s mom? Maybe Courtney thought if she got her mom a record contract, she’d buy her some dresses that fit or something. These songs are kinda weird, slow and old-sounding and stuff. My brother told me they were written by some guy named Curt Vile. He’s one of those death-metal guys, right? Isn’t he in that Napalm Olive group? I think I understand now why those guys sing so fast, ’cause the words are kinda dumb, all about how sharp shark’s teeth are and stuff. Well, duh! Anyway, my brother said that this woman used to go out with Mick Jagger. Whoever he is.