The Collector’s Guide to Heavy Metal
by Martin Popoff (C.G. Publishing)
by Scott Hefflon
So here I am, facing the task of reviewing The Collector’s Guide to Heavy Metal, though admittedly I’m here reviewing the task while faced, so… An overview: 3,650 (give or take) reviews spanning the sub-genres of all that is heavy, hard, grinding, stomping, screaming, and/or over the top. Yet Popoff has the good sense to include (index, cross-reference, allude to) acid rock, classic rock, glam rock, and Top 40 rock, not to mention a surprising amount of “alternative” rock, punk, and experimental rock. Quite refreshing to find, as a random example, the latest Goo Goo Dolls panned, all the various Gore+suffix bands differentiated, the Grave+somethings duly noted, Great White painstakingly plotted over their too-long career, followed by a printed sigh as the jubilant Green Day drugs wore off. But be not misled; this is a completist’s guide to heavy metal. By any definition. Practically any attempt I made to sneak up on Popoff with an obscure favorite was countered and matched by his reviews of the two albums I owned, plus a limited-edition enhanced cassette (playable only on Texas Instruments computers). And while it’s no surprise Black Sabbath’s 22 releases receive five pages of text, it’s unnerving to realize Krokus put out 12 records before someone finally told them they were upsetting the balance of nature, wasting valuable space in the cut-out bins, and that even their mothers had stopped buying their records and were pleading with them to get day jobs.
And that’s the beauty of The Collector’s Guide to Heavy Metal: Popoff has invested (some might say “blown”) six years of his life analyzing these nearly 3,700 records, carefully logging his impressions of the music, the climate of the culture at the time, and steadily charting the growth and decline of many a seminal band. And his knowledge of obscure releases is almost embarrassingly thorough. Without a doubt, this is a much-needed reference guide to all that is heavy. Without taking himself or his subject too seriously, and with an apologetic notation every time he “just doesn’t get” a band everyone else thinks are the new godz, Popoff wades through various genres, attempting to review each within the context it was meant to be experienced, yet not excluding the novice to each new frontier of heavy music.
And, to put it mildly, the bitch can write. Stylistically, Martin Popoff is to heavy metal what Hunter S. Thompson was to politics. Only his predictions aren’t laughably wrong. Perhaps what I mean to say is that Popoff stands apart from the unwashed, semi-literate fan-cum-hack-writer standard, yet is obviously not a MasterCard-carrying journalist dweeb who faints at the sight of blood on his hands. He’s a well-researched, thoughtful metal historian who has surely had his discreetly covered-up record-smashing binges himself (sweat flying, eyes bulging and wild, muscles clenched in uncontrollable spasms, mouth foaming, breath coming ragged, fast, voice cracking, pushed beyond human endurance, screaming “Arrg! Stop! Enough! Bad! Ug! SuckSuck!” and cackling gleefully as the vinyl shards litter the room).
And finally, no guide would be complete without appendices filled with glossaries of terms, top ten lists, summaries of faves, and gratuitous mentions of bands he just felt like rattling off again, not to mention acknowledgements, a witty, self-effacing introduction, and some notes on how and why this guide was compiled. This tome also comes with a 19- song CD courtesy of Century Media. Say, did I mention Krokus has 12 albums?
