We Will Fall

The Iggy Pop Tribute (Royalty/LifeBeat)
by Nik Rainey

How can anyone, in good conscience, criticize a benefit album? Try to breathe the slightest hint that the philanthropic artifact might not be quite up to scratch strictly as a piece of aural entertainment and suddenly it’s righteous indignation time: You heartless bastard, how dare you knock that Kenny G Goes Oi! collection when you know full well that 1% of the proceeds go to preventing post-nasal drip in one-armed immigrant orphans? You could suggest that you send your $14.99 to the cause itself instead of wasting it on some lame-ass platter, but hey, this is America: We don’t sacrifice a nickel without getting something in return, especially if we can leave it out on the coffee table and inspire guilt and show off our charitable nature to anyone that drops by. Spare change? Sure, can I get a receipt?

Ah, opening-paragraph cynicism: Better than a refreshing swig of paregoric on a hot summer’s day. Look, I’m not questioning the motives of the people responsible for We Will Fall, not am I impugning the quality of this particular collection – it’d be worth grabbing even if LifeBeat weren’t donating the proceeds to AIDS research. (I wonder if anybody’s noticed the anvil-like irony of people covering songs that were probably written while engaging in the very same high-risk activities that this organization’s educating people to avoid like the New Plague. I guess that’s why they didn’t assign “Penetration” to anyone.) It’s just that the consumerist implications of projects like this disturb me. Does this mean if you think Mr. Osterberg’s a spastic, talentless jerk, then these sick people don’t deserve their protease inhibitors? Am I supposed to feel ashamed because I bought my copy of No Alternative used?

But enough of that. You should know how great most of these songs are by now, as simple and unimprovable as old blues tunes and therefore pretty hard to fuck up. That you won’t want to miss hearing a song and an artist as perfectly matched as Joey Ramone and “1969,” or Adolph’s Dog (aka Blondie) turning a so-so Zombie Birdhouse number (“Ordinary Bummer”) into a lilting revelation, or just realizing that the punkiest moment on the whole damn album is hearing Jayne County toss lines from Rosemary Clooney’s “Come On-a My House” into her “Down On The Street”/ “Little Doll” medley. (Maybe she’s trying to impress her nephew George.) Other than that, nobody really strays too far from the original songs, which may beg the question of why they, like, bother, but then again, I’d rather people like the Red Hot Chili Peppers (“Search and Destroy”) stick to doing covers if it means they’ll never write another song like “Aeroplane.” And hearing relative obscurities like “I’m Sick of You” covered by Nada Surf and “I Got A Right” by the Misfits is always a kick, regardless of who’s doing ’em.

So yeah, We Will Fall is worthy of your entertainment dollar – it’s nothing to lose your heart on the burning sand over, but it’s good bands doing great songs for a good cause, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Just don’t think for a second that buying a CD is an adequate replacement for getting off your ass and changing things. Let it inspire you to help out, whether it’s writing a check or donating a little of your time. If you need further inspiration, how’s this: If Lollipop‘s readers promise to get more involved and not let rock stars do the work for them, we’ll declare a one-year moratorium on telling that rolling-around-in-broken-glass anecdote. Just doing our part.