Hot Damn!

Big Fat Lover (Dionysus)
An interview with Zebra
by Scott Hefflon
photos by Billy Ray McCarter

…five cans of whipped cream, a pair of tube socks, and a live chicken. OK, there’s the beep, we’re on record now.
So I guess I can’t say fuck, shit, cum, piss, soiled panties…

That’d make a short interview. Please, feel free. So, y’all’ve got a new record called Big Fat Lover – 12 songs, starting with “Tight Skirt.”
The contract said we were supposed to have at least 12 songs and 30 minutes of music. We barely reached 30 minutes, I’m kind of embarrassed. I think the longest song on there is still under three minutes. But remember Dwarves’ Blood, Guts, and Pussy? That was under 30 minutes and there were like 14 or 15 songs on it.

How long has it been since High Heels Slut came out?
It’s been about two years.

Didn’t you do two or three videos for that record?
We did two: One for “Bitch with an Attitude” and one for “My Panties are Too Tight.” Anything else on the tape you got was probably my kid playing his drums. He has a single coming out later this month on Hell Yeah! Records. He’s in AC3. There are three Allens in the band, he’s the third. It’s really cutie. He’s already played three shows, and each time he’s played he’s been the center of attention.

I wanted to ask about the covers that are on both the 7″ and the album: “Beaver Shot” and “Take it Off.”
They were covers from ’50s lounge bands. We played them a bit more Cramps-ish, but we really didn’t change them much from the originals. We just added more fuzz. We love fuzz. That era of music has always been my favorite – ’50s and ’60s garage music.

And the songs you choose are very sexy: thrusting, primal, wild abandon-inducing…
If it makes your butt jiggle, it’s good. By the way, that’s why I play the bass. Those vibrations are just oooh, oooh, oooh! I’ve gotta run for the dressing room after I’m done playing.

It’s like a large strap-on vibrator that makes music.
A 50-pound one, yeah.

The thing I noticed about the covers is that there aren’t really any lyrics.
You could call them instrumental, but we do scream one or two things over and over again throughout the song. We do a cover of “Have A Good Time (All Of The Time)” by Fearless Leader. I stole it originally, but then I made Sarge feel really guilty so he called me back and said we could do it. Their shows are really chaotic and fun, you’re guaranteed a good laugh when you see them. Either that or to get beaten up by the lead singer. He sticks Spam up his ass and stuff like that. He’s nuts. He’s from Michigan.

Are those two necessarily synonymous?
Yeah, I think so. He grew up in Dee-troit, Michigan, watching the MC5 and early KISS. He’s a crazy fucker. He has kids too. And he bares ass and all.

Tell me about “Go! Go!”
The songs are about when I was a teenager in L.A. and I used to go-go dance for bands and stuff. We used to be put on these really high stages with no cages, so if you fell, you fell a good 20 or 30 feet. And the band’s right below you, so if you fall, not only do you fall 30 feet, but you fall on the band. And stages were so small back then, even the bands were falling off of them. Me, my sisters, and all my friends were go-go dancers for the bands in L.A. Instead of being the groupies, we were the go-go dancers. There was a really competitive thing going on – who was the best go-go dancer. I kinda miss those days. I go to shows now, and no one dances anymore. The girls would go crazy back then, hop around, get up on stage and shake whatever they had.

What time frame are we talkin’ here?
Probably a good 10 to 12 years ago. For me, it was probably more like 15.

What are some of your idols, some of your influences?
One of my favorites is Priscilla Bowman. She’s from the ’50s. There’s a record I put out 10 to 13 years ago, God!, called Zebra is Her Name and it was all a rip-off of ’50s R&B girl covers. I actually did a Ramones cover on it. It was kind of a weird record. My real love is all the female vocalists from the 1920s to the 1950s. That was a real high time I think.

Like in “Beehive.”
Oh yeah. 1997 and mohawks are back. It’s so weird. I remember being in high school and ditching school to hang out on Melrose Ave, which is nothing like it is today. All the punks would hang out at this shop called Posers. Now mohawks are back and I don’t think any of these kids know what the hell they’re doing, so I thought it’d be cool if we brought back the beehive. Actually, I wrote that song about three years ago, but I’d never written words for it. We were running out of material, so we said fuck it and recorded it. People don’t realize how hard it is to write your second record. So we wrote a lot of stupid stuff. That’s what I like to write about most, absolute crap. Some teenage boy can take the record home, close his bedroom door, and have a good ol’ time. Older people may not get into it because they take it all too seriously, but who cares – some teenage rockers are going to get their kicks. That’s all that matters.

Is there a photo spread in the CD?
Yeah, we did the photo shoot at the same place we did the video. And we used the same photographer, Billy Ray (McCarter, who also provided the photos for this layout), who did our first single. We feel really comfortable around him, and I think we’re one of his favorite bands to photograph. We don’t care if our butts are showing, ’cause if you’re going to do it, DO IT. He’ll say, “How about if you open your shirt a little more,” and I’ll be like, “OK, how far down?” (Giggles.) Kristina (guitar, backing vocals) got drunk out of her mind and got totally loose. I couldn’t believe it. It takes her a lot to get going because she’s a little shy, but once she gets going and gets really drunk, there’s no stopping her. She’s like, “Whoo! I’m taking my clothes off now! Let’s Go!” I like her that way.

It’s got to be a wild trip, playing in Hot Damn!
It really is. We do whatever we want. We like sex and we like singing about it. We like wearing what we wear on stage, which is usually practically nothing. Some clubs won’t allow us to go any further, but Allen, the lead guitarist, doesn’t care. If the set’s going really badly, he’ll just drop his pants and play the rest of the set like that.

Not to bring up any horror stories, but do you ever run into scary situations when you’re on the road?
Sometimes we’ll have terrible instrument problems, so I’ll just start yelling at the audience to take their clothes off. I get them going, I like to really warm up an audience and get them hot. A lot of people are bashful about it, but I tell them, “If you take it off, we’ll take it off.” It’s kind of a trade thing. I like to see how far people will go, and some really go far! You see some guys in the front row doing the helicopter thing with their penises, it’s hilarious. But yeah, we get a lot of perverts coming up with their video cameras, shooting down on our boobs and trying to get their camera up our butts. They all say they’re from some magazine or some video show, and it’s like, “Yeah, right.” But we do have our problems. Some drunk guys climb on stage and start messing with us, thinking because we’re pretty wild on stage, we’re chicks, and we aren’t wearing much that they have some right to fuck with us. It gets kinda scary sometimes because some guys get the idea it’s free to touch. And it’s not.

When you go to a strip club, there are very large men making sure the clientele enjoys the performance, but doesn’t touch that which doesn’t belong to them.
Unfortunately, we don’t have bouncers, so we pretty much do it ourselves.

That’s kinda sexy, too. Having a half-naked chick whuppin’ your ass.
Yeah, I grew up in gangs and stuff, so I can pretty much take care of myself. When we first started doing this, I thought we were going to take hell from a lot of girls. But actually, it’s the girls coming up after the show saying they love what we do. And, of course, there are some guys who take it really personally because we’re girls in the music industry, getting away with all this shit, wearing pretty much nothing on stage, and we get a bunch of bad reviews. Who gives a fuck? Whatever happened to rock’n’roll? Rock’n’roll is based on sex and drugs. Get a grip. But women seem to really support what we do. They can totally relate to getting on stage, being totally sexual, and playing fast punk rock or stupid shit.

Not to cop a phrase, but putting the rock back in rock.
Exactly. My favorite band when it comes to drunken, fuckin’ punk rawk rock’n’roll is The Wretched Ones. Beer, booze, loud punk – that’s what it’s all about, I think.

But the fashion has become more important than the lifestyle it’s supposed to represent.
What’s up with that? Kids originally shopped at thrift stores and mixed and matched and came up with a totally personalized look, and “entertainers” wore what they wore for shock value or some personal statement, but now you can buy The Fashion in stores so there’s no statement left. Now I go up on stage in a brassiere or ’50s striptease outfit because that’s what I like to wear. If that’s fashion, fine, but that’s just what I like to wear.

You can’t really be a fashion victim ’cause you don’t wear a helluva lot.
Right on. But I must say, I am a high heel fanatic. I love buying high heels, the spikier the better. I’m completely out of closet space. They’re all over my kid’s room now. He has to climb across all of my shoes to get to the bathroom now, it’s really bad. I need a bigger house, that’s what I need. Just for my shoes. That’s what I like to do. I’m not a big drug person, just let me collect my shoes and I’ll be happy.

There it is kids: Don’t get high on drugs, get high on heels.