A “Hole” Lotta Love

Courtney Love: L’Interview

by Daniel Davis
Illustration by Michael Corcoran

Renowned international music/film/fashion critic Jean-Paul Bavard met recently with Singer/Songwriter/Actress Courtney Love in a posh Parisian bistro to discuss her upcoming music and film projects, as well as her relationship with the late Kurt Cobain.

Jean-Paul Bavard: My personal assistant, Gustave, has informed me that you are working on a new recording project. The world awaits with its breath baited. Would you describe your upcoming album as Techno, Electronica, or Drum ‘n’ Bass?

Courtney Love: Actually, it’s none of those at all. It’s completely…

Jean-Paul Bavard: Ah, yes, Ambient Pop. This is no doubt wise. Techno is the future of Rock Music, of course, as we all know. But obviously, no one can contend with the genius of the Chemical Brothers on their own turf. C’est brilliant, obviously. All other music is utter crap. It is just as I predicted last month in my groundbreaking essay in CyberEuroHaus magazine. I’m sure you’re familiar with it?

Courtney Love: Uh, no, never heard of it. I don’t listen to much techno music, actually…

Jean-Paul Bavard: Aha, the famous Courtney Hole sarcasm we have all heard of. Utterly brilliant. Of course, your new project will be Ambient Pop, as you declared. A bold direction. I predicted the Ambient Scene’s phoenix-like rise from the ashes of the Jungle and House milieux, of course. C’est the language of the Avant Garde, clearly. Perhaps you will step to the forefront of the movement, as the genius Chemical Brothers have done in their own genre. Do you see yourself in such terms? Myself I view your recording career as an artistic metaphor for the influence of semiotics on popular culture. The culture of celebrity folding in on itself much like a famous Warhol print. This is your intention, is it not?

Courtney Love: What are you talking about?

Jean-Paul Bavard: Ah, but there is no need for such disingenuousness! We may speak freely here of such things! So many artists have such reticence in speaking of their Work to the paparazzi. Of course, I understand. I remember my many conversations with Tarantino on the eve of the release of Pulp Fiction. He refused to discuss the semiotic relevance of the Travolta dance montage. He ignored my inquiries, merely smiling his savant-like genius smile, leaving his Neo-Quasi-Noir Nouveau masterpiece to speak for itself. Which of course, it did. Les brilliants, they seem to intuitively sense that words are unnecessary, that images are everything. Meaning is only conveyed by context, of course, as we see from the oeuvre of the tragically maligned rap innovator Sir Mix-A-Lot, who is rightfully hailed as a genius only, ironically, in Belgium, in a field near Brugge. As a celebrity, you are aware of such things. Why?

Courtney Love: Are you talking to me?

Jean-Paul Bavard: Ah, such a succinct commentary on the impossibility of communication in the image-assaulted contemporary world. But is not communication necessary? Or is it not? “If not, why do we even have les paparazzi at all, then, Jean-Paul?” you may quite perceptively query. A brilliant question indeed, Mme. Hole. But bien sur, we must have les paparazzi! Think of the glamour, the attention, the imagery, the adulation! Must we not have such things? It is everything! What would we have without it? Bob Seger! Wyoming! PBS! Dungarees! We cannot live in such a world, surely you agree?

Courtney Love: Um, I guess not. I don’t really like…

Jean-Paul Bavard: Now my personal assistant, Gustave, informs me that you have a new cinema project that you are hard at work on, even as we speak. I understand that it co-stars the hilarious Clifford Clavin from Cheers TV, and is the biographie of the Playboy American genius pipe-smoking Hugh Hefnoir. Are you appearing nude in this film?

Courtney Love: Are you talking about The People vs. Larry Flynt? That’s not new. It came out over a year ago!

Jean-Paul Bavard: Ah, I believe perhaps that you are mistaken, but it is quite understandable. Ca nefais rien! We continue.

Courtney Love: I’m not mistaken, you idiot! I only agreed to do this interview because I wanted to speak publicly for the first time about certain aspects of my relationship with Kurt!

Jean-Paul Bavard: And who is this Curt? Is this a new Low-Fi Indie-Pop Techno group that will now become your protegés?

Courtney Love: Kurt Cobain, my late husband! Perhaps you’ve heard of him?

Jean-Paul Bavard: Of course, I am quite familiar with the Kurt of which you speak. I am merely making une petite pun. Now Gustave informs me that your late Kurt fancied himself something of a musician in his own right. I am sure he spoke very highly of the Chemical Brothers. Do you think that they influenced his work more than, perhaps, Prodigy?

Courtney Love: My husband died years before anyone had ever heard of either of those groups. He had nothing to do with that kind of music! Nothing! In fact, I just discovered some lost tapes of unreleased songs of his…

Jean-Paul Bavard: I’m sure it must be very awkward for you. All the same, you are in Paris now. You surely attended many of the season’s exclusive fashion shows. How have these influenced your Art?

Courtney Love: I haven’t been to any fashion shows.

Jean-Paul Bavard: Such a bold rejection of the bourgeoisie dominance of contemporary culture! It is tres daring for such an American as yourself! But how will you know what to wear in your many celebrity appearances? Surely your Personal Assistant attended in your stead?

Courtney Love: None of this has anything to do with me, or my music, or Kurt, or my film career.

Jean-Paul Bavard: So perceptive! You have your pulse on the very finger of contemporary Avant Garde cultural activity. What does it feel like? As an international rock/film/fashion critic, you may speak openly to me for an exchange of brilliant ideas. Clearly, the reign of the House music scenario is dead. I proclaim its very death in my essay this month in Cahiers de Swine magazine. What is your reaction?

Courtney Love: What are you babbling about?

Jean-Paul Bavard: Perhaps you are familiar with many of the leading bands of the Neo-New Wave Nouveau movement? What is your opinion of these bands such as Faux Toupee, Musty, and Obscure Pun? How have they influenced your work?

Courtney Love: I’ve never heard of any of them.

Jean-Paul Bavard: I see that it is perhaps a subconscious, almost subliminal influence, then. As an actress, how do you feel about such overrated, derivative, utterly banal filmmakers as Hitchcock, Lang, Eisenstein, Welles and Bergman? Are you glad that they are all dead?

Courtney Love: That’s it! This interview is over!

Jean-Paul Bavard: I understand that you have many celebrity commitments that you must attend and display yourself at. Thank you for your time, and I hope that I have helped you learn some important new ideas that will no doubt influence your work.