For Against

Shelf Life (World Domination)
by Jamie Kiffel

In the world of pop, mathematics plays a major role. The formula for a successful pop song is as follows (please have pencil and paper ready): When the number of Differing Chords Produced (represented by G) goes down, the actual number of Measures Played (D) must therefore also go down, or the Tempo (S) must rise drastically. Another option is for Emotionality (U) to rise, or for the level of Je Ne Sais Quoi (C) to increase. If Originality goes way down (OO), the Teenybopper Audience (K) can still rise via raised Resemblance To Other Bands (I), or finally, greatly increased Airplay (N). Thus, we find the formula proving that, in order to make (G)(OO)(D), the product must always exceed the level of (S)(U)(C)(K)(I)(N). Unfortunately, the number of chords on For Against‘s latest release, Shelf Life, remains low as the number of measures continues to rise, also featuring dropping levels of emotionality, originality, and je ne sais quoi. In spite of all this, the teenybopper audience still has a possibility of increasing under the influence of excessive airplay. The product is less (G)(OO)(D) than (S)(U)(C)(K)(I)(N), but there are those for whom math is a conundrum and who thus prefer concrete examples. This problem is not extremely arduous, and you are encouraged to work it out separately and to compare your results with others.