Rowan-Morrison’s Guide To Home Videos
Normally when I sit back and type my column, I’m surrounded by Gordon Jump memorabilia in the comfy confines of my house. Okay, so it’s more of a condo than a house, and when I say “condo” I mean apartment. This time, however, I’m in Lake Tahoe celebrating my one year wedding anniversary with nonstop flesh fondling. Since my wife thinks I’m on a business trip, please keep your trap shut. Speaking of work, these first two films are white collar classics:
In The Company Of Men. This tale involves a couple of corporate middle management sadists who decide to cruelly toy with the affections of a deaf female coworker. Just because picking on the blind is morally acceptable fun – especially when they’re only a couple feet away – doesn’t mean preying on the deaf isn’t kind of mean-spirited. This movie has a cold and creative conclusion that will give you plenty to talk about.
Swimming With Sharks. Kevin Spacey is at the top of his game as he portrays a heartless Hollywood big shot who abuses his employees for kicks. Unfortunately, he pushes one worker to the point where he kidnaps and tortures Spacey. A mixture of Death & The Maiden and 9-to-5.
Defending Your Life. This Albert Brooks vehicle deals with a humorous judicial approach to the afterlife. Although it co-stars Meryl Streep, it’s not one of those mushy films that makes you want to beat her with a sack of marbles. It does have plenty of sentimental moments, but since the humor is balanced with the heart, the sap isn’t overwhelming.
Trees Lounge. Steve Buscemi wrote, directed, and starred in this Barfly-for-the-’90s slice of life story about a loser and his dead-end daily routine. Granted, he doesn’t look so bad compared to his pathetic booze-plastered pals. Because Buscemi was in control of this production, he actually gets to kiss a girl (Chloe Sevigny).
Swingers. Most of the scenesters who read Lollipop have already seen this Hollywood hipumentary which revolves around an insecure guy trying to meet a girl, while his cool friends think bars, parties, casinos, posturing, and pick-up techniques are the solution (can you say Fast Times‘ Ratner and Damone?). With homages to GoodFellas and Reservoir Dogs and other pop culture allusions, this simple comedy will appeal to most media-obsessed Gen X kids. I usually conclude each column with commentary from my significant other, but this time you get to hear…
Notes from Rowan-Morrison’s Insignificant Brother:
What kind of lame bullshit drivel is this… I need to grab a couple of my So Cal frat brothers and then bitch slap Rowan with the Dungeon Master’s Guide he left in our parents’ garage. Afterwards we could hang him by the nuts with the “Frankie says Relax” tanktop he keeps asking me about. In the Company of Men reminds me of the time Rowan and I went on a double date. After the fat one fell on his face and broke his nose, I stole his clothes and called the police. Then there’s Trees Lounge, which evokes memories of summers in Tucson spent drinking Colt 45, playing Asteroids, and burying Rowan in our backyard mudhole… I was grounded for a week, so in retaliation I had to break all of Rowan’s Men at Work and Kajagoogoo records. I had some other comments, most of which involved bastardizing his name with profanities, but Rowan edited them out.
