A Few of My Favorite Things

A Record I Am Deeply Ashamed To Admit I Love Dearly (And If You Repeat It I’ll Deny It)

by Nik Rainey

Scritti Politti Cupid & Psyche 85 (Warner Bros., 1985) – Strikes against Scritti:
1) their music was so synthetic that it’ll be billions of years before it biodegrades;

2) the lead singer had a voice reminiscent of the cut-price whipped cream Mom used to buy that was mostly air bubbles and fizzed into a white puddle when squirted over ice cream;

3) the lead singer was so narcissistic, the inner sleeve shows him admiring his handsome visage in a public-bathroom mirror while two of his bandmates look approvingly on;

4) and the kicker… the lead singer’s name was Green. Green!? That’s a color (and not even a primary one), that’s not a name! (Here’s to ya, Duckie Dale.) Be that as it may, this white-bred, synth-fed wuss-fest gets me all gooshy inside. I spin this platter and I’m sixteen again, pining for amour and still young enough to believe that all could be redeemed with a kiss. Yeah, okay, I’m a closet sap. Just try and tell me you’re not.