The Cretins

We’re Gonna Get So Laid (Melted)
by Scott Hefflon

It pains me to say this sounds like shit, it really does. Such a fun live band ruined cuz they didn’t bother to make sure they hit the right notes in the studio, and the production is worse than I’ve done on my four-track. High end is a good thing to have (many bands end up sounding muddy or muffled when operating on the cheap), but not when it makes the CD as pleasing to the ear as a smoke alarm. And the flubbed harmonies send shivers up my spine. Sure, perhaps Screeching Weasel and The Vindictives can record an album in a day, but not everyone oughtta go for that first-draft kinda feel. OK, so we have some vintage and bubblegummy Queersy songs (guitarist/vocalist Metal Murf has toured with ’em, and hell, B-Face was their bassist for quite some time), some SW-esque tunes, and the usual ’80s-nostalgic-punk trappings I often drool over, but We’re Gonna Get So Laid leaves my mouth dry. Check these guys out live, cuz, to cop a phrase, “they rock live.” But leave this CD on the shelves unless you want to learn the words for when you go see ’em.
(21-41 34th Ave. #10A Astoria, NY 11106)