Garbage Pail

The Atomic Café

by William Ham
illustration by Ant Ventollieri

When you’re finished reading this magazine, why not stop by America’s newest nostalgia-themed restaurant The Atomic Café?

Relive those fabulous fifties in an atmosphere of fear, paranoia and good eatin’! The war may be cold but the food is piping hot! Try some of our delicious entrées, like the Duck and Cover l’Orange, served to you under your table with its head between its juicy, succulent legs! Or how ’bout our Nikita Fajita – smothered in Russian dressing but full of Latin flavor, it’s sure to overthrow your Battist-buds! Or try one of our world-famous appetizers, like Bay of Pigs in a Blanket, or our Stuffed Mushroom Cloud! And if you too have a Francis Gary Power-ful thirst, wash it down with a cup of Naga sake! So learn to stop worrying – you’ll love The Atomic Café! Bring the whole nuclear family – it’s fail-safe to say you’ll have the time of your half-life, détente or night!

Right down the street from McCarthy’s (over 5 million subpoenaed) – are you now or have you ever been hungry?