Bill the Welder
(Owned & Operated)
by Scott Hefflon
Bill The Welder‘s history is shrouded in mystery. A guy named Bug takes the stage in his underwear and, shall we say, “warms up.” The first song is instrumental punk, something only Descendents and ALL are allowed to get away with. The next song sounds like evil Black Flag and is called “Satan’s Bowling Team.” The chorus is shouts of “What’s your score? 6-6-6!” Bandmates consult their set list again, disregard what they’ve seen, and launch into another instrumental. A band member who wasn’t paying attention missed the song because it was over so quickly. And from there, things get weird.
In truth (or at least according to the bio), Bill The Welder is the reunion of the Plumbers, the “band” who opened up for Descendents when there was no opening band. Consisting of Bug and whoever else happened to be onstage, the songs were short, melodic, humorous, and crowd-pleasers. But when Descendents/ALL no longer had any short supply of bands who’d trade a nut to open for them, the Plumbers faded into obscurity. …Until now. (Sorry, had to.) Produced by Bill and Stephen at The Blasting Room (duh), released on O&O (Descendents/ALL’s label), and starring hotshots from ALL, Wretch Like Me, and Armchair Martian, this is the side-project dorkiness that’s the shit. Amidst touching punkpop puppylove ditties and tongue-in-cheek takes on various topics, highlights include “Underwear,” the white-boy butt-shaking pimp-talkin’ solofest similar to the five-second “Freaky” from ALL days of yore. And plenty of the other 15 tracks are tunes Ben Weasel or Joe Queer woulda been proud to write.
Go buy Bill The Welder’s CD. Don’t pay a lot for it, but talk yer loser friend into lending you the money then never pay him back. Don’t scour arena listings for a much-hyped national tour (unless you live in Colorado, then sit in a bar for long enough and they’ll probably show up sooner or later), but seek this sucker out. This is the kinda unselfconscious music that comes from over-productive minds with talented musician friends and access to a studio. Hey, it’s better than TonyAll!
(PO Box 36 Fort Collins, CO 80522)
