The (International) Noise Conspiracy

Capitalism Stole My Virginity (G7 Welcoming Committee)
by Morgan Coe

Three songs of extensively footnoted neo-garage pop. If I asked them, I suppose The (International) Noise Conspiracy would say they were executing a clever situationist “détournement” of ’60s rock and skinny-pants Mod fashion in order to bring into question our notions of cultural commodification and class consciousness. On the other hand, even they would have to admit that this is nothing new, the only difference between T(I)NC and Nation of Ulysses, Make Up, or The Panthers is that they cite real books instead of imaginary ones.

But I can’t help thinking that if books are your bag, you’d be better off simply reading them. The ‘Conspiracy love Nietzsche (although they misspell his name), but what could be less Nietzschean than posed and derivative three-chord hipster pop?* The basic problem with bands like this is that they are talking out both sides of their mouth, trying desperately to have their (revolutionary) cake and (ironically) eat it too. “Capitalism Stole My Virginity” doesn’t blast out of your speakers with anger, indignation, or any of the (real) emotions this (metaphorical) theft should inspire; instead it winks and shimmies around the bassline from “Under My Thumb.” Put this on if you feel the need to connect with your “punk rock” roots even though, honestly, you’d rather be listening to The Strokes. On the other hand, if you want music that tries to draw a sincere connection between form and content, wipe the smirk off your face and pick up a Catharsis record.
(PO Box 27006 360 Main Street Concourse Winnipeg, MB R3C 4T3 Canada)

* Answer: Nothing.