“Dead Mexican in my Headphones”

By Martin Popoff
illustrations by Jonathan Ian Mathers

Phil Lewis from L.A. Guns…
I like a dead Mexican in my headphones and I’m ready to go.

I interview rock guys two, three times a week. I use voice recognition software to transcribe these interviews. Works like this: I tape the phone conversation, then take the tape and speak my questions and their answers into a headset and voila, it’s a transcribed text file. It doesn’t always come out as planned though. Fun game: Repeat the wrongness out loud and you might be able to figure out what the guy actually said. Here are some of the more memorable miscues. More than a few of these gems ring truer than the actual words spoken…

Nikki Sixx from Mötley Crüe…
“As a matter of fact, me and Vince happen to be paid fans of The Eagles.”

Human Disorder…
“Dave’s a great guy. He’s been a car in the power quarter for a long time now. He brings out the quality in the ass.”

Human Disorder…
“When we go to a show, we’re in the pit. We’re out there washing with the rest of the kids. We’re just looking forward to the opportunity of getting out and beating a lot of people.”

In Ruins…
“It’s not just a three piece live. Wheat fell out of the sound.”