F-Minus

Wake Up Screaming (Hellcat)
by Duke Crevanator

There are times when a band’s press kit does them such a fucking disservice that one can’t help but wonder what the fuck they were thinking. Case in point, F-Minus.

First, let me quote from the press release: “The area they originated in was awash in too many utterly deplorable bands trying to make it big.” Well, that’s all well and good. All of us who have been in bands that had no intention or desire to be on MTV can relate to that, for sure. But then we get to the packaging of the CD. A truly fancy-pants effort with a 16″x24″ poster inserted with a big old bright yellow sticker slapped on the jewel case that says “recorded by Steve Albini” (Big Black, Nirvana, the Pixies). OK guys, which is it? Are you just trying to play totally uninspired hardcore as a release for your artistic soul? If so, then why the touting of Albini’s involvement, and a very expensive CD package as a blatant ploy, for whatever lame reason, to try and sell records and get noticed? I have no problem with a band that’s trying to make it big. Hell, someone has to be big right? Just don’t be so obviously two-faced about it.

As for the music, I also would recommend that if you want to make it big, try to create something that’s not so pathetically generic. The press release claims they were sick of people who didn’t “get it.” Well, I DO get it, but I wish I didn’t. Actually, I just wish I’d never heard it. I also can’t believe you were talked into including a lyric page on the back side of the aforementioned poster. I mean COME ON! Lines like “Pledge of Allegiance to your desires, we cut the deck, your (sic) losing the game, you don’t have a thought we have’nt (sic) placed in your head” is TRULY inspired lyrical content. Especially because in TWO other songs you play on the same exact line of “thoughts placed in your head.”

F-Minus knows how to play their instruments OK, but they’re not very talented at song writing, and not just lyrically. It just plain sucks. I still would’ve hated it even without the horribly-written press release and lyric sheet. Worst record I’ve heard in a long, long time. Christ, I need a fucking beer after this shit.
(www.epitaph.com)