Cheeky Girls

by Chad Van Wagner

I don’t EVER want to hear any of you goons complain about how Americans have bad taste. OK, fine, you may well want to give the cast of The Apprentice the business end of a fire hose, and you may watch TV in general with a dropped jaw at the stupendous levels of idiocy on display. There is a lot of shit out there, granted.

However, anyone believing that the U.S. of A. would buy any old thing that comes along is invited to check out the website for Cheeky Girls and explain how they have yet to take America by storm. All the elements are there: Skinny, jailbait-looking girls (twins, no less!) dressing in as little as they can get away with and singing about sex (their debut single was called “Touch My Bum”). And yet they’ve been relegated to (gasp!) where they belong: The lower echelons of tacky web culture, where only those with a taste for unintentionally hysterical “art” have rewarded the twins’ incessant warbling.

Yes, there’s a game where you’re invited to touch their bums, as it were, but there really does seem to be a lack of irony in all of this. Besides, their single debuted at Number 2 (appropriately enough) in the UK, so they’ve got reason to believe they’re, um, for real. There’s no discernible wink wink nudge nudge, which, of course, makes the whole thing that much more brilliant.

And precious few Americans know who they are. Guess there is hope, after all.