The Black Table

by Chad Van Wagner

Consumer Reports can’t do it all. Occasionally, you need help in the weirder aspects of life. That’s where The Black Table comes in.

Essentially, The Black Table (satirically) reviews everything, and by “everything,” I mean that some of this stuff is just rants concerning elements of our society, and how, exactly, they should be dealt with (if at all).

Case in point: The article known as “Meet The Whimpster: A Manipulative Asshole in Sensitive Clothing.” Written by one Rachel Elder, it does not pull punches (“Yeah, that’s right. Fuck Lloyd Dobler”). If a more scathing indictment of what is manifesting itself as “emo” at the moment exists, I haven’t seen it. And that’s just one random article off the front page.

There’s also an area where readers like you can “review” whatever tickles your fancy, and even those are pretty damned funny sometimes. Essentially, a more reality-based Something Awful, which is a fine thing indeed. Hours of amusement.
(www.blacktable.com)