Kekeo’s Ballbusting World

by Chad Van Wagner

In case you ever have a quick moment of doubt as to the fact that we’re all essentially doomed, I invite you to peruse Kekeo’s Ballbusting World, a Japanese website devoted entirely to one man’s fantasy of getting nailed right in the store.

“IMAGINE THIS GIRL KICKS YOUR NUTS,” proclaims one particularly straight-forward caption, this one beneath a cute Japanese girl in a swimsuit. The fact that the girl in the picture bears no resemblance to the one in the story should not trouble you. Not because it’s irrelevant, but because if you’re reading a site devoted to scrotal trauma, accuracy in captioning should be pretty far down the list of things to worry about.

Reading this stuff is a trip (from the index page, there is a link to English translations, so don’t freak out when you’re suddenly confronted with a screenful of kanji.) If you can unclench your legs while reading stories about repeated knees to the groin and (gah!) testicular acupuncture, there’s a bizarre sense of… well, I don’t know if I’d say innocence. Maybe it’s the fact that the guy always loses that makes this site seem less ominous, since a depressing amount of Japanese porn is dedicated to humiliating some poor girl. Maybe it’s the broken English (which still kicks the living shit out of my Japanese, I must say. Although, thankfully, it doesn’t kick anything else). Maybe the thought of someone getting off on their own genital mutilation is so completely out there that it can’t hold any offensive weight. Maybe I’m just in denial.

Whatever it is, I think it’s summed up quite well in the following quote from “A Schoolgirl Bust,” where young Manami exacts her revenge on her (now ex-) boyfriend Ken: “Good-bye Ken. See you again after you become girl” She bowed to him elegantly, and exited the room. Sayonara.
(www.cute.cd/kekeo1)