Suicide Girls

The First Tour
by Dave Dawson

I was totally ready to love this DVD. Hot, pierced & tattooed girls in very little clothing? I’m in! Well, they’re tattooed, they’re pierced, they’re eight beer hot or better, but I was really disappointed.

Basically, this is a documentary about the Suicide Girls doing a tour with a burlesque style live show. I’ve seen burlesque shows done well, this ain’t it. Most of these girls dance about as well as the Tuesday morning strippers in the rural part of the state, so the only thing that kept me interested was the nudity.

The interviews with founder Missy Suicide were enjoyable, but I really would’ve rather seen her naked than hear her spout a whole bunch of the getting-naked-for-girl-power horseshit that’s all over the SG website anyway, cuz really: Nudity for feminist reasons is kinda like dropping bombs to promote peace. Oh, wait…

If you think you want to know what these girls are like and listen to their ideas, trust me, you don’t. There were a couple genuinely nice girls, but the majority of them are just as vain and vapid as the things they say they’re rebelling against. If you absolutely have to watch this, turn the sound off, fast-forward through the interviews, and use this for what porn was intended for: Rubbing one out.
(www.suicidegirls.com)