God Has A Plan For Us All (Listenable)
by Scott Hefflon
While Angtoria has “generic” written all over it (from the band name to the tired religious reference to the cool but “seen it a million times” artwork, plus the “female singer cooing and belting it out with metal doods lined up to guest appearance”), there’re hints of magic here. Sarah Jezebel Deva has sung for Cradle of Filth, Therion, and others, and she’s no slouch. She’d give the Evanescence chick a run for her diva status, but she’s, well, she’s even chunkier, so it takes dramatically-cropped photos to maintain the sex’n’power appeal. What can ya do? Some waif-like raccoon-eyed tart might look good slithering around in a video, but she can’t possibly belt it out like the metal mommas. Er, but wow do I wish someone else had written the lyrics. I try hard not to pay attention to metal lyrics, cuz I wanna continue to like metal, but these clear and bright vocals can’t disguise “man, you’re joking, right?” lyrics. Tight playing, creative dynamics (almost proggy at time, but with a shotgun chu-chunk rhythm to keep it grounded), and killer production, guests by Dave Pybus of CoF and Aaron of My Dying Bride, this UK band might have some legs if they lay off some of the cutesy clichés and generic film score orchestration (I’m sure it sounds dramatic behind an action scene, but as a song, it’s some ha ha Batman opening we chuckle at, not the freakin’ foundation of a real metal song). Get this band in some filler teen horror movies and the kids’ll eat it up.