Beatallica – Masterful Mystery Tour – Review


Masterful Mystery Tour (Oglio)
by Iann Robinson

Ever watched a comic on stage who had one joke he tried to re-tell over and over and it stopped being funny almost instantly? That’s pretty much what you get with Beatallica‘s album Masterful Mystery Tour, a kooky poke at both The Beatles and Metallica. Get it? Beatallica? Isn’t it fucking hysterical? Aren’t you keeling over laughing?

On this tour de force of wit, the Beatallica band does covers of Metallica songs and then infuses Beatles influences or lyrics based on the Beatles into them. What that does is add EXTRA fall-down hilarity to this stupid album. I’m all for joke bands, and things like this when they’re done correctly, but Masterful Mystery Tour sucks and never ever gets the joke right. The band is so interested in making fun of Metallica via imitating James Hetfield’s voice that they never actually attain any satire or true wit. I guess what bugs me about this album is how obvious it is, like something a group of drunk frat boys would think up for pledge night.

I suppose I could see metalheads thinking this was really funny. Those guys who sit in the Denny’s parking lot and argue the merits of Pantera over Slayer while calling me a fag because I also enjoy Morrissey. Yep, those of the sleeveless metal t-shirt, long hair, and inability to see the true humor in their genre will probably find Beatallica a real knee-slapper. The rest of us can save ourselves the entire debacle by allowing Beatallica to find its way into the dollar bin at Wal-Mart.