Lollipop Magazine

Pool Hustler – Review

January 1, 1999

Pool Hustler may be the ultimate achievement in video billiards: The balls shine and roll and click and bounce off of one another just like the real thing.

Pitfall – Review

January 1, 1999

Armed with a geological hammer and smart-ass remarks to make Indiana Jones look complacent, Pitfall Harry has come quite a long way. Voiced by Bruce Campbell.

Deal of a Lifetime – Fiction

January 1, 1999

“What’d I tell you, Boy?” he said, not moving, voice low and gravely. “Kick back, take it easy, take a minute when the Old Man offers.”

Liquor Lecture – Drinking Symptoms and their Solutions – Column

November 1, 1998

Symptom: Floor blurred.
Fault: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
Action: Get someone to buy you another beer.

Coroner’s Corner – Meteor and Murder – Column

November 1, 1998

The premise is simple: Some scumbags do something really nasty to some pretty nice folks, and then those nice folks get to kill the crap out of the scumbags.

Coroner’s Corner – Meat Pies and Rabies – Column

September 1, 1998

Now you can buy primo copies of such classics as Halloween, Dawn of the Dead, and Martin for a few measly bucks. Some companies are even adding deleted scenes.

Liquor Lecture – Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder – Column

September 1, 1998

I’ve always shown that sign of addiction, the phrase “I can stop at any time.” I bet you can see what’s coming.

The X-Files: Things That Stand Out When You’re Busy Saving The World – Review

April 1, 1998

Heroes Don’t Need Food. For all the running around they do, Mulder and Scully never eat.

Coroner’s Corner – A Man With A Thousand Whoopins – Column

April 1, 1998

Here you could find super-gory banned bootlegs, collectible Penthouse issues, Samurai Swords, house-sized posters, and lost episodes of Wonder Woman.

Liquor Lecture – Temperance – Column

April 1, 1998

There comes a time when I just don’t have the kindheartedness to forgive the slovenly drunk, even though I have worn that hat on much more than one occasion.