Lollipop Magazine

Mike Royko: The Rare Newspaperman – Fiction

July 1, 1997

Mike Royko was the midwesterner’s Jimmy Breslin, a two-fisted muckraker who could write himself and his blue collar cronies into every maelstrom he covered.

CD Reviews – Fiction

July 1, 1997

Adjectives like weighty, consequential, formidable, semiligneous, and oss-eous don’t do this band justice. Nor do nouns like peplum, kirguiz, and quinquereme.

Fibroid Chitlin interview – Fiction

July 1, 1997

Fibroid Chitlin: An interview with Chthulu Rhys-Jones by TZ and Mike.

Understairwell – Fiction

June 1, 1997

S’ interestin’, my father become a deranged sort of celeb’ity. People still tell folks headin’ fer trouble with the liquor, “Yer headin’ for a Hurlie hole.”

The Sporting Death of Soundgarden – Fiction

June 1, 1997

Unlike his modern-day Seattle counterparts, broadcaster Brickhouse, soused or no, would never have announced the passing of second-line heavy metal bands.

The Culture Bunker – Hello, My Name Is Legion – Fiction

June 1, 1997

I was chasing a dream of rock ‘n’ roll stardom, playing electric ocarina in a band comprised of a bunch of malcontents, layabouts, and known mousse abusers.

A Rough Morning – Fiction

June 1, 1997

As I crossed the street this morning I saw three cows dancing in a circle. As I approached them, I noticed they were singing in a round.

The Mind Museum and Adjoining Garden – Fiction

May 1, 1997

The primary function of the unwitting human race has been reduced to cloning and stoking as many silicon chips as possible.

The Culture Bunker – Thirteenth Night, or Whatever You Say: Act 2 – Fiction

May 1, 1997

Rut: Shut thine pie-hole, Trichinosis! My lord is dying and so art thou, thou underrehearsed beverage- referencing knave! Take heed! Take two, they’re small.

Sometimes I Wonder – Fiction

May 1, 1997

I woke up early to get a head start on the day, but it had already started. Time passed. In the fast lane, no less, and I was left choking on its dust.